Wednesday, December 6, 2017

The Adrenaline Connection

Many years ago, while dealing with the aftermath of mono, systemic candida which I developed from numerous doses of antibiotics, and food sensitivities, my adrenals wouldn't function properly. But because they hadn't completely failed, there was nothing the endocrinologist I went to could do.

I remember the day I slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting a cyclist who dashed out in front of my car. I was at the stop light which had turned green, but the young cyclist hoped to make it across before I began to accelerate. The adrenaline rush that came on didn't stop like it was supposed to—I began to feel warm, then hot, then sweaty, then disoriented—a very strange sensation.

Fast forward to the last few years. I joined Toastmasters to develop self-confidence and speaking skills. Each time I went up there to speak, I had the adrenaline rushes. After a while, they stopped being so bad, but I experienced some strange after effects.

One time after I sat down, I felt fireworks of sharp stabbing pains all through my body. I took some slow deep breaths while I waited it out, telling myself I was OK. But in the back of my mind, I was very concerned. I didn’t collapse from a heart attack and the pains subsided. What on earth happened?

Another time after I sat down, I experienced an immediate lower back spasm. I wondered if all the back spasms I had experienced over my lifetime—and all the Fibromyalgia pain—was due to adrenaline issues—a symptom of a chaotic life where I was more often than not reacting to daily circumstances in fight or flight mode.

Then one day about a month ago, after a Toastmasters meeting, a career military man in my club sat down across from me while he waited for his wife who was mentoring a new member. I can't remember how the conversation began, but it led to the subject of adrenaline. He promptly told me about adrenaline rush letdown, a term I had never heard of before but common among those who serve in the military.

The symptoms I described to this man, which included the fireworks of sharp pains and the back spasms were only two common symptoms. There are others, like feelings of depression. The adrenaline junkies—skydivers, bungee jumpers, race car drivers, motorcycle riders, and more deal with them on a regular basis.

Fast forward again to the end of November when I finally had an appointment with Bri Linney, who practices BioEnergetic Nutrition. I’ve done lots of research, reading, and listening to health summits and brought in several pages of notes which included summaries of my current health challenges and my hypothesis about them. I even brought in all the supplements I am in possession of. She asked me how I think she could help me. I replied something of the line of hoping she can pinpoint what my body is asking for nutritionally.

This was definitely a visit I wish I recorded!!!!

You get a whole hour for your first visit. Bri provided a wealth of education on how my system operates in terms I could understand, including the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. She is skilled in knowing what the body wants just by touching it. I only remember three main points which are related to the adrenal issues.

1) Bri paused her exam as she touched my lower abdomen and asked apologetically if I had been sexually molested or assaulted. I am no longer reactive to the memories and answered yes. Afterall, other healers could pick up on this too when they touched my abdomen. She had explained to me different categories of health issues which included virus people. Most virus people have been sexually molested and or assaulted. The first occurrence was when I was 17. I came down with mono when I was 18 (or just before) and dealt with viral issues ever since—as well as repeated instances of sexual molestation and assault, which Bri also said is common. Another mystery solved. I was aware that most people who have Fibromyalgia were abused as children; I was not aware of this other connection. As I’ve done self-improvement on emotional trauma, my overall health has improved. This can explain why I haven’t been sick as much as I used to be even though the ‘energies’ are still lingering in my body.

2) After touching every organ and gland and parts of my brain, Bri explained to me that when you get a concussion, which I did when I was 21, your pituitary gland which seats at the center of the brain gets knocked around—and if I am repeating the facts accurately, the pituitary gland controls everything, including the hypothalamus. She concluded the reason for the chronic sore throats and difficulty swallowing is due to the right parathyroid and thyroid being inflamed which is all controlled by the hypothalamus. The adrenals are, too. This is another reason why I love energy medicine. This stuff doesn’t show up in blood tests.

3) I wanted to wean off Mirtazapine, the generic to Remeron. I’ve tried twice unsuccessfully and hoped she could assist me with it. Bri explained to me that it is helping the part of my brain that is not functioning like it should be and advised me to stay on it until I can get that part to improve.

I walked away with two homeopathic remedies for both hypothalamus and inflammation. I have complete faith in homeopathic remedies from years ago when I got one for my son who had severe cat allergies. Each day we visited my Mom who had a cat, his eyes would swell shut. When I discovered the BioAllers drops and gave it to him, it not only helped after the onset of a reaction but over time his immune system adjusted and he no longer had these reactions. I vaguely remember using another formula for an allergy I was dealing with as well.

Bri had also tested all the supplements I brought with me and determined how many of what I should take over the next month. I felt validated that I was on the right track—she suggested increasing the CBD Oil and Copaiba Oil, decreasing many of the other supplements, and increasing Vitamin C Complex (including putting it on topically with citrus oils). I return in one month.

Layer by layer, as years go by, I uncover additional mysteries to healing my miraculous human body. Our bodies truly are miraculous you know—born with innate intelligence—and the more you learn about it and the more you really get this, you increase your ability to recover from whatever you have been dealing with.

I acknowledge and appreciate everything my body does from digestion to excretion to circulation to moving. Have you tried this?

As for moving, even on a bad day, I do my series of exercises and marvel that I am still able to do them, focusing on each body part as they move through each exercise. Yes, there are parts that aren’t functioning efficiently, but have you tried focusing on all the parts that do?

To get an appointment with Bri Linney and learn more about what she does go to:

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Reminiscing & Gratitude

Wishing everyone a beautiful Thanksgiving!

This post is the final chapter of my first book and a good topic for a post today. It's Thanksgiving and I am reminiscing about how grateful I am that I learned how to view all experiences as tools for growth and as contrast. For instance, the water being shut off for repairs reminded me of all the times I didn't have running water and how grateful I am of having it now, even if it is shut off for what turned out to be only 30 minutes. I've come a long way since I wrote this book in 1996 besides being 21 years older. Just like the previous post on The Broken Branch, I choose to focus on all I am grateful for today, which includes all of my readers. At the time I wrote this book, I had just lost the place I called home, a marriage that didn't work, and employment. In this space I had to choose--to dwell in all that I had lost or in all the pleasant memories. It did indeed shift my vibration and life grew around me again... which would happen numerous more times between then and now. 


I’ve been dwelling in thoughts of mourning too long, mourning for everything in my life that I have lost and never had.

Today, I asked Spirit, is there an opposite to mourning for what I’ve lost? There must be something else - this place hurts too much! There must be something different than gratitude! Being grateful for what I have is not touching me where I need to be touched!

“Yes,” the answer came. “Climb into the essence of your most wonderful memories.” Be grateful for the opportunity to have the experiences that now dwell in your memory.... but do not dwell on what is lost - climb into the joy of your most cherished memories.

So I began to collect my most treasured memories one by one and climb into them for a while. Within a few days, my spirits began to lift up from the depression I had been drowning in.

I collected memories of doing special things with my father. I felt special when we walked hand in hand along the seashore. I felt grown up when he took me to work with him during school vacations and taught me how to do some of the work he did. I felt the sense of adventure when he took me to the outdoor market in downtown Boston during the summer to buy fresh fruits and vegetables. He also took me to the auto show where I saw all kinds of creations other than the autos I’d seen on the streets. I felt a sense of awe when he took me for walks to see all the Christmas store displays. I felt exhilarated when he taught me to drive in his Volvo. There is no room for both feelings of rejection and the joy of these memories. So now I must choose, if even for today, to be in the joy of memories.

Gratitude implies being in the present. If there is one thing I can be grateful for right now are all the cherished memories I have collected from the past. I can mourn and cry for what I lost and never had, but maybe just for today, I can go back in time and feel what I felt then. After all, what else are memories for?

All my memories are weaved together as intricately as a spider’s web - connected to each other with every emotion I’ve ever felt. I was given free will to choose - which includes choosing what part of that web I spend my time in. I can choose to drown in sorrow or I can choose to immerse myself in joy.

Old habits are stubborn. It seems like most of us are naturals at drowning in muck - but you can’t be both places at the same time.....I can sift through the memories like I would sift through a pile of sand and find the treasures in all my past experiences. Or I can choose anger and tears by focusing on the part that hurts.

I can choose to be hurt and angry at every boy (including the ones that lived in grown men) that used me and hurt me - or swoon in the memories of each “fatal attraction.” I could mourn the loss of my dreams to be happily married, have a house and raise children - or be in the joy of how free I felt when I was on my own again.

I can mourn and cry for each love that I lost - or be in the bliss of every memory they gave me. I can imagine a new love and be in the bliss as if it already is. I can imagine someone climbing inside my soul, wrapping his arms around me, and feeling completely safe and secure in his embrace.

And Jesse. Do I dwell on the mess he constantly makes? Or do I bless the trail of his existence? Without him, there would be no mess. Do I dwell on the annoying noises he makes or the fact that he watches too much TV and listens to “awful” music? If I had to choose between having him in my life with the mess, the noises, the music and the TV, or his never having been here at all....I’d bless the mess. I’d bless the noise. This is who and what he is and I bless his existence in my life! Do I dwell on the fact that he’s a teenager and no longer wants to be home....or be happy I’ve done a good job raising a child who believes in himself enough to do this?

I immerse myself in college, homework, motherhood, reading, photography, music, research, writing, walking, healing, and memories. Do I stay sad and mourn all that I’ve lost and never had or do I climb inside the joy of the memories?

Today, I’ll immerse myself in memories, and be grateful for every single one.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

The Broken Branch

The Broken Branch
Once a month, the Central Texas Writer's Society meets at the Copperas Cove Library. We receive prompts to inspire creative writing... and so my creative writing has surged once again -- and here is the poem I recently wrote. We had a beautiful cool 70's day and I stepped out on my patio and once again got slightly irritated by the sight of the broken branch that is in the tree by my back patio. However, this time I wondered if there was a message for me here -- and it turned out there was.

The Broken Branch

You broke off last year
during a windy storm
but got caught in other branches
on the way down
never to hit the ground.
To the tree:

(To the tree)
Winter came and went
and with Spring
you grew more branches
and thousands of leaves
burst forth from your buds.

(To the branch)
Still, you linger.

(To the tree)
Summer has come and gone
and soon you will shed 
all your leaves
yet the broken branch will remain
to keep you company.

And so I ponder...
Past traumas seem like
broken branches.
Life always bursts forth
with new leaves
every season.
The broken branches
always remain.

I caught myself staring
at the broken branch
instead of the overall beauty
of the tree that you are.
I also caught myself staring
at the broken branches
of my past traumas
discounting the beauty
that is the rest of me.

FYI: I put a sticking note up on my bathroom mirror which says: Quit looking at the broken branch. 

I know you can relate... how many times you've looked in the mirror and zoned in on the hairs that are not in place, the blemish on your skin, the darkness under your eyes, the crease or wrinkle. Can you imagine how much better you could feel if you stopped focusing on the broken branch of you and appreciated the entire tree?

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Chinese Fable and Life Lesson

The following fable was on my mind this morning because I had a strange dream. When I doze off again early morning, I tend to remember dreams, especially when something like the phone ringing wakes me up. Most of them are a mix-mash and don't make sense to me. This one did.

Also Friday night I gave a young man a ride to and from an event -- a man with a lot of wisdom for his years. In one of our many conversations, I told him I didn't know why I had to experience all the crap I'd been through -- but life is good now. I also said I'm 61 and if I live another 30 years there is still time to become a teacher/mentor to many people. He encouraged me to go for it!

In the dream, a friend of mine and I go to see a female psychic with blond hair below her shoulders. The woman tells my friend she has water retention and then, harshly, "GET OVER YOUR STUFF! There are a LOT of people waiting for you to help them." My friend begins to cry and the psychic holds her for a long hug. She was still holding her when my phone rang and I woke up. My friend has been experiencing one bad event after another. She is stressed out and worn down. I've been there.

I know the message in the dream is for me as well. And this morning it came in clear -- and I hope I remember -- that experiences are neither good or bad. Just experiences. Learn to be an observer and don't get caught up in the drama. 

I tried to tell myself this yesterday after I returned to my local grocery store for the third time to get one of their Natural rotisserie chickens (no antibiotics or hormones) and was told, "I'm sorry, we don't have any." 

That first day, I asked specifically for them to write down what time they would be ready so I could go down and get one when they were first put out. To compensate for the inconvenience, I was given a coupon for a free one -- worth almost $10. I made a mental note to add this to my Gratitude & Miracles journal. 

The next day I returned at one of those times and was told they didn't have any. And the times I had been given were not correct and I had them write down the times that were.

The third day, yesterday, I lost my cool. I returned on one of those designated times to be told they didn't have any. I was told I should have come earlier. I had to ask them to call me when they had one ready as this option was not previously offered.

I hadn't experienced that level of anger in a very long time. I searched through the crevices of my memories for something that would put out my emotional surge. Logically, I knew that instead of thinking how rude they were and how bad the customer service was, to dig up compassion -- I bet they just had a bad day, too. Afterall, we just experienced Hurricane Harvey. And my friend is going through a lot worse right now.

This morning, I had that dream -- with that profound message.

Thus, this morning, I Googled the Chinese fable that had been on my mind -- and I had seen many times -- and was instrumental in me learning how to see life differently.

A farmer had only one horse. One day, his horse ran away. His neighbors said, “I’m so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

A few days later, his horse came back with twenty wild horses following. The man and his son corralled all 21 horses. His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

One of the wild horses kicked the man’s only son, breaking both his legs. His neighbors said, “I’m so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

The country went to war, and every able-bodied young man was drafted to fight. The war was terrible and killed every young man, but the farmer’s son was spared since his broken legs prevented him from being drafted. His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

I hope this post will encourage you as well. Stuff happens -- good and bad -- learn to be an observer and don’t get caught up in the drama. By having these experiences, and learning how to resolve them, we become mentors to others, learn to be resilient, and develop maturity. Then we become other people's teachers.

This is also an example of synchronicity -- when seemingly unrelated events -- if you keep track of them -- turn out to be related afterall!

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Health Education Continued

Curiosity is one of my attributes. Comprehension is not--unless I listen to something multiple times or read it just as many. It seems certain pieces of info stick to my memory cells when other pieces evaporate into thin air.

The information I am about to share is new to me based on what I can remember learning in the past. I've been reminded that Fibro Fog is a symptom of Fibromyalgia which I sometimes prefer to forget I deal with, especially during times when I experience a lot of energy! I've been experiencing a major energy dive and with the dive of energy came an increase in physical discomfort. Nevertheless, I am intrigued with the synchronicities that have been showing up in the way of books, magazines, internet articles, and Facebook posts.

I received the September issue of Pain-Free Living Magazine. Inside are three articles, all of which are relevant to me--and maybe to you as well.

1) Putting the Pieces Back Together: Trauma is often a source of chronic pain. Here are eight ways to deal with it. 

I've been very aware for some time that multiple traumas, beginning in childhood, are known to contribute to chronic pain. We have amazing brains that are wired to protect us in three ways: Fight, Flight, or Freeze.

"In the wild, animals are exposed to trauma almost every day, threatened by predators and competitors. Yet they don't develop PTSD because they have inborn ways to release the trauma when the threat has passed. They shake, they tremble, they run around, they yowl, and they rest. Then they can go on with their lives. Humans have forgotten or suppressed those instincts, but we also face potential trauma throughout our lives."

Trauma includes war, accidents, assaults, sexual assault, sports injuries, car accidents, abuse during childhood, surgery and invasive medical procedures, parental divorce, and loss of a job (self, spouse, or parent). Then there are more complex traumas such as a difficult delivery at birth and intergenerational trauma which you inherited vs. something that has actually happened to you.

"Pain itself can become traumatic. It can seem out of our control; we may try many things without relief. It can cause fear, anger, and grief, but we can't take effective action."

"Trauma creates permanently high-stress levels. The body feels constantly threatened until the trauma is released, always ready to fight, flee or freeze. This stressed state makes pain more intense."

We get stuck in pain because we haven't released the trauma that caused it.

I've done quite a bit of work on myself to identify the many traumas my body has stored in muscle and cellular memory. The process is never done. Each time I have a 'flare-up', even if it is days on out of relentless fatigue without an increase in pain, I now know to stop (which isn't really a choice) and process whether I am just experiencing a bought of fatigue or whether I've been 'triggered' and my body is responding to what my brain is telling it to do--FREEZE. 

Of the many suggested treatments in this article, I've used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), mindfulness meditation, psychotherapy (on myself with the help of Dr. David Burn's book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy), and antidepressants. Somatic Experiencing is also suggested which teaches a process that brings you back to your body as a safe place where you can defend yourself. I haven't done this SE therapy, but I have been learning about Somatics in a different way.

In Edward Barrera's book Move Like An Animal, there is also an explanation of how trauma affects our bodies and our brains as humans vs. animals as mentioned above. I've been learning about somatic exercises--as the traumas result in sensory motor amnesia. The good news is there is a series of exercises one can do to retrain the brain to become aware of what it is supposed to do. I also purchased Thomas Hanna's book on Somatics, but Ed's book is much easier to understand and follow.

2) A complex Web: Fibromyalgia is difficult to diagnose, but a variety of treatments can ease the pain

This article reviews Fibromyalgia symptoms and possible causes as well as different approaches to treatment. Among alternative therapies are meditation and sound as studies have found that music and low-frequency sounds can reduce the pain experienced by patients. Sound has helped me quite a bit and I have saved a bunch of YouTube videos on one of my Pinterest pages to listen to. In the final paragraph are these words of wisdom: 

"Don't be hard on yourself. Rest when you need to, and don't be too sad when you find that 'friends' fall by the wayside. The important people in your life will still be there for you through it all. Lastly, you are not alone. Facebook is amazing for support groups. Hang in there."

Indeed, Facebook has quite a few support groups. In addition to mine (Lampasas Pain Support Group), I've found the following:

Dr. Joe Tatta (I read his book.)

Plus some others.

3) Breaking the Cycle of Pain: The founder of an integrative-medicine clinic explains why chronic pain should be treated as an inflammatory disease.

This article is an interview with Gary Kaplan, D.O., a clinical associate professor at Georgetown Univerisity in Washington, DC. Kaplan came to the conclusion that pain and depression are inflammatory diseases--in the brain.

"Chronic pain such as fibromyalgia, back pain, pain associated with osteoarthritis, daily headaches, and depression are not diseases but symptoms. these conditions are symptoms of inflammation of the brain."

"We have MRI studies and human and animal studies that show that we're looking at neuro-inflammatory disease of the central nervous system." -- central sensitization syndrome -- a mix of chronic pain and depression.

Right on!!!! This makes more sense to me than anything else I've read so far. 

Suggestions include:
  • eliminating foods that may be contributing to your brain being on fire.
  • meditation which is anti-inflammatory
  • get at least seven to eight hours of continuous sleep at night (so much for getting up to go pee)
  • get away from taking pills to fix things
  • read his book Total Recovery: A Revolutionary New Approach to Breaking the Cycle of Pain and Depression... a book I will add to my Amazon wish list.
Included in the article is a PAIN TEST -- a list of questions to ask yourself and talking to your doctor about the answers. The ones that apply to me are:
  • Is there anything you avoid now because of memories of a past trauma that you can't seem to shake? (often)
  • Have you been exposed to mold, toxins, or heavy metals? (all three)
  • Do you regularly encounter stressful situations such as being bullied? (not so regularly anymore but have dealt with this often in the past)
  • Have you suffered from difficult or emotionally abusive relationships? (many)
  • Do you struggle to get restful sleep? (often--between waking up to adjust my CPAP machine and to go pee)
  • Were you diagnosed with Lyme disease, Epstein-Barr virus, gluten intolerance, or Celiac disease? (EBV and gluten intolerance--refer to my next comments on grains)
  • Do you have a thyroid imbalance that may be caused by medications like opioids? (not sure, but unfortunately I took opioids for 12 years)
Kaplan concludes that meditation and exercise absolutely help regenerate the brain. Nutrition is important because the gut is the second brain.

Now for what I recently learned about grains.

I ordered the book No Grains, No Pain after listening to a talk by Dr. Peter Osborne. I heard that there are many types of gluten in ALL the grains... including ones I thought were safe like rice and oatmeal... that grains are seeds which have a substance designed by nature to protect them... and this substance is toxic to humans. So called gluten-free foods are only free of one type of gluten. You can listen to a podcast by him here: Gluten Free Diet Fails & Hidden Toxins in Gluten Free Foods

Two additional summits came my way: Beyond Pain Summit and Pain Treatments That Work 2.0. I haven't had a chance to listen to all the podcasts and interviews. Two stood out for me in the Beyond Pain Summit:

On day 3 of the Pain Treatments Summit, I heard a life changing interview with Shinzen Young on practical steps for transforming physical pain into spiritual growth. He provides instruction on how to use pain as a reminder to check into your body and learn to receive its messages through meditation. I felt encouraged that the pain in my body could have a deeper purpose and the act of daily meditation alone can be an instrument to transform the planet. I don't have to DO anything except lie still, breathe, and allow God/Spirit to become one with my body. Discipline. Maybe it's another opportunity to learn to be self-disciplined.

I was able to download the synopsis of his book and print it out: Natural Pain Relief. You can download it by clicking on the link below:

EMF's -- the wifi signals from your cell phone, router, tablet, laptop, etc. cause inflammation in the brain. Yikes! One of my sisters mailed me a little bag of rocks to put on top of my router which is supposed to reduce EMF's. There are gadgets you can put on your smartphone and tablet as well as gadgets to put under your feet or your laptop. All quite pricey. Maybe someday. I'm investing all my money into doTERRA Essential Oils, oil blends, and supplements right now.

Readers, all this education enables me to be my own advocate. I hope you can become your own advocate as well. While bouts of fatigue combined with pain force me to take time out from all I strive to achieve, triggering moments of feeling powerless, I also gain a sense of empowerment through knowledge. 

Last, but not least, the Universe has redirected me back to practicing Reiki -- on myself. First, I was sent a woman who wanted to know more about Reiki. I loaned her a book I had about it and she found it helpful. I have learned over the years acquiring attunements are not necessary to experience the healing energy that naturally flows through your hands. Many people now a-days are studying what Reiki is, the Chakras, and the hand positions to optimize this natural ability. Then after I finished reading one of many books I have, I picked up one I purchased several months ago: Intuitive Self-Healing: Achieve Balance and Wellness Through the Body's Energy Centers by Marie Manuchehri, RN. Marie is a nationally known energy intuitive and Reiki Master. This book is simple to follow with client examples and exercises you can do on your own.

Time. So elusive. Hours vanish before my eyes. 
Focus. Self-Discipline.
Move: Be still. Meditate. Move.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Emotions and Rocks

Image from Bing
Yesterday morning I was fortunate to be able to participate in a two-hour Emotions Mentor pilot class as an introduction to a three-day expanded one. Teresa needed to give two of these in order to get her certification. The grand finale was a guided meditation which I wish I could have recorded. I will attempt to recall as much as I can.

Closing your eyes, you imagine you are about to embark on a journey to the top of a mountain. However, the backpack you brought with you is filled with rocks. The road is long and the weight of the backpack drains your energy. 

You stop along the way, but only take one of the rocks out of the backpack before you continue on. It isn’t long before you are tired again from the weight of the backpack, once again choosing a rock to leave behind before you continue the journey.

This step is repeated multiple times.

Finally, you have let go of all the rocks you’ve brought with you and are able to climb to the top of the mountain.

Since I’ve been up in the mountains before, it was easy for me to imagine I was there.

What are these rocks? Subconscious beliefs about who you are, the conclusions you made during vulnerable moments when you were a child, and what you’re capable of accomplishing in life.

I knew some of the rocks I had let go of in previous years were my conclusions about the degrading words my father often spoke in our presence. I believed they were about me. I was worthless and unlovable. No matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough. 

I continued this pattern on in life attracting partners (and employers) I constantly strived to prove my worth to, resulting in perfectionism. I had to do everything I was asked to do and do it perfectly, putting my own needs last. I allowed circumstances to happen – no matter how uncomfortable – just for the sake of feeling I had value. My soul rebelled by manifesting illness and physical pain. It was my only perceived way out, even though the consequences were dire.

During this meditation, I discovered a new layer to my perceived subconscious money blocks. It helped that Teresa had shared how she had come to the conclusion that SHE wasn’t good enough when her mother said certain words. Yet, Teresa had carried the conclusion on into her adult life which ran as a background program in her subconscious mind. In her marriage, when she heard her husband say certain things, she lost her temper and walked out of the room. It turned out what her mother said meant something completely different and her husband didn’t mean what she made his words mean. Until she let go of her ROCKS, she was unable to become successful at what she does now. I greatly admired her transparency.

I’m in the meditation, walking the path, carrying rocks in my backpack, digesting the words Teresa had spoken when clarity began to surface.

Dad was the youngest child. He wanted to be as big and strong as his brothers. His older brothers did well in the world financially, while Dad didn’t. (Keep in mind Dad was challenged with Aspergers which he never figured out – we did after nephew Brett was diagnosed.) I often heard Dad talk about his brothers in derogatory ways regarding money and women. 

I had concluded based on these words that not only was it not OK to have money, it was not OK to be a WOMAN and have money, never mind be successful.

I have been looking up to the women who could get on a stage, earn thousands of dollars giving amazing speeches, putting them on pedestals, wishing I could get there, too. It’s why I joined Toastmasters. I’d be happy if I could even stand in front of a dozen people and speak. In Toastmasters, lots of women are getting on stages, doing workshops, and giving amazing speeches. Lots of women are highly sought after public speakers. 

YET, something – one or more rocks – continued to hold me back. I thought it was fear of losing the security of my disability benefits. Maybe this is still one of the rocks, but I think I discovered what the BIG one is  –  the subconscious belief that it is not OK for me to have lots of money or be successful.

I bought a bag of small flat shiny rocks yesterday afternoon for symbolism.

The meditation helped me realize which rocks I was still carrying.

What if I could leave behind the last of them? How far could I go?

What if YOU could leave behind the rocks you carry? How far could YOU go?

Note: Theta Belief Work, EFT, and Essential Oils are tools for letting go of rocks.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

The Little Pill

As I placed the tiny pill (Mirtazapine/Anti-Depressant) into my daily pill reminder, it finally sunk in how much power a tiny little pill has on the human body. (Animals, too.) One tiny Ativan or Valium can sedate you in the midst of an anxiety attack. One tiny pill can lower your blood pressure. How much power do you think the food you eat has? And the chemical additives and preservatives have? And the toxins in skin-care products and household cleaners?

I can appreciate the miraculous system of my body to process the food I eat and the fluids I drink, but I no longer want to give it more than it can handle – and create and maintain optimal health. By optimal, I mean the best I am capable of giving my body – to support its pre-existing conditions 
 with the hope it will continue to grow stronger.

In the meantime, since buying doTerra Peppermint oil, I’ve had an insatiable appetite to inhale it and drink water with two drops in it. Two TINY drops. All day long, each time I refill my glass of water.

When I mentioned this to my ‘teacher,’ she responded, “Well, of course! Peppermint is anti-inflammatory! That makes perfect sense!”

At that moment, I realized that two tiny drops had been, indeed, reducing overall pain… a pleasant addition to getting more Oxygen during the night while I sleep with the CPAP. My other favorite right now is Past Tense. I roll some of this on the vertebrae of my neck and feel the warmth spread, while the scent of delicious oils permeates my senses.

And then there’s HOPE. I was intrigued, so I ordered a bottle. It smells wonderful! doTerra created HOPE to give out to children who are being enslaved by sex trafficking, with the promise they would be rescued by the Healing Hands Foundation, which partners with Operation Underground Railroad. Did you even know there was one? They hand out bottles of HOPE to children they are seeking to rescue (it's a process) to let them know a rescue is planned. All profits from selling this oil to the rest of us benefits this Foundation as well. 

Knowing I am buying something ($20 a bottle) that makes this much difference in the lives of children, gives me HOPE for this world. doTerra partners with indigenous people in other countries as well for plant farming in their natural habitat. While the plants are being attended by the farmers, doTerra provides those who participate improved quality of living. I know when I buy the oils, I am also contributing to decent salaries (charities) all over the world vs. buying products that are produced by child labor for pennies.

Back to the tiny pill. I was one of many who were brainwashed to believe the pharma pills had all the power, along with the doctors who prescribed them. Back in 2010, I was taking 11 prescription drugs every day. Now I only take two. 

May I, as well as many others, find solutions for their health with clean eating… and Certified Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils, like doTerra. (The ones sold in Walmart say they are not safe to ingest and likely diluted with additives.) Indeed, it surely is nice to crave Peppermint oil instead of sweets and junk food!