Wednesday, October 4, 2017

The Broken Branch

The Broken Branch
Once a month, the Central Texas Writer's Society meets at the Copperas Cove Library. We receive prompts to inspire creative writing... and so my creative writing has surged once again -- and here is the poem I recently wrote. We had a beautiful cool 70's day and I stepped out on my patio and once again got slightly irritated by the sight of the broken branch that is in the tree by my back patio. However, this time I wondered if there was a message for me here -- and it turned out there was.

The Broken Branch

You broke off last year
during a windy storm
but got caught in other branches
on the way down
never to hit the ground.
To the tree:

Winter came and went
and with Spring
you grew more branches
and thousands of leaves
burst forth from your buds.

To the branch:

Still, you linger.

To the tree:

Summer has come and gone
and soon you will shed 
all your leaves
yet the broken branch will remain
to keep you company.

And so I ponder...
Past traumas seem like
broken branches.
Life always bursts forth
with new leaves
every season.
The broken branches
always remain.

I caught myself staring
at the broken branch
instead of the overall beauty
of the tree that you are.
I also caught myself staring
at the broken branches
of my past traumas
discounting the beauty
that is the rest of me.

FYI: I put a sticking note up on my bathroom mirror which says: Quit looking at the broken branch. 

I know you can relate... how many times you've looked in the mirror and zoned in on the hairs that are not in place, the blemish on your skin, the darkness under your eyes, the crease or wrinkle. Can you imagine how much better you could feel if you stopped focusing on the broken branch of you and appreciated the entire tree?

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Chinese Fable and Life Lesson

The following fable was on my mind this morning because I had a strange dream. When I doze off again early morning, I tend to remember dreams, especially when something like the phone ringing wakes me up. Most of them are a mix-mash and don't make sense to me. This one did.

Also Friday night I gave a young man a ride to and from an event -- a man with a lot of wisdom for his years. In one of our many conversations, I told him I didn't know why I had to experience all the crap I'd been through -- but life is good now. I also said I'm 61 and if I live another 30 years there is still time to become a teacher/mentor to many people. He encouraged me to go for it!

In the dream, a friend of mine and I go to see a female psychic with blond hair below her shoulders. The woman tells my friend she has water retention and then, harshly, "GET OVER YOUR STUFF! There are a LOT of people waiting for you to help them." My friend begins to cry and the psychic holds her for a long hug. She was still holding her when my phone rang and I woke up. My friend has been experiencing one bad event after another. She is stressed out and worn down. I've been there.

I know the message in the dream is for me as well. And this morning it came in clear -- and I hope I remember -- that experiences are neither good or bad. Just experiences. Learn to be an observer and don't get caught up in the drama. 

I tried to tell myself this yesterday after I returned to my local grocery store for the third time to get one of their Natural rotisserie chickens (no antibiotics or hormones) and was told, "I'm sorry, we don't have any." 

That first day, I asked specifically for them to write down what time they would be ready so I could go down and get one when they were first put out. To compensate for the inconvenience, I was given a coupon for a free one -- worth almost $10. I made a mental note to add this to my Gratitude & Miracles journal. 

The next day I returned at one of those times and was told they didn't have any. And the times I had been given were not correct and I had them write down the times that were.

The third day, yesterday, I lost my cool. I returned on one of those designated times to be told they didn't have any. I was told I should have come earlier. I had to ask them to call me when they had one ready as this option was not previously offered.

I hadn't experienced that level of anger in a very long time. I searched through the crevices of my memories for something that would put out my emotional surge. Logically, I knew that instead of thinking how rude they were and how bad the customer service was, to dig up compassion -- I bet they just had a bad day, too. Afterall, we just experienced Hurricane Harvey. And my friend is going through a lot worse right now.

This morning, I had that dream -- with that profound message.

Thus, this morning, I Googled the Chinese fable that had been on my mind -- and I had seen many times -- and was instrumental in me learning how to see life differently.

A farmer had only one horse. One day, his horse ran away. His neighbors said, “I’m so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

A few days later, his horse came back with twenty wild horses following. The man and his son corralled all 21 horses. His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

One of the wild horses kicked the man’s only son, breaking both his legs. His neighbors said, “I’m so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”I

The country went to war, and every able-bodied young man was drafted to fight. The war was terrible and killed every young man, but the farmer’s son was spared since his broken legs prevented him from being drafted. His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

I hope this post will encourage you as well. Stuff happens -- good and bad -- learn to be an observer and don’t get caught up in the drama. By having these experiences, and learning how to resolve them, we become mentors to others, learn to be resilient, and develop maturity. Then we become other people's teachers.

This is also an example of synchronicity -- when seemingly unrelated events -- if you keep track of them -- turn out to be related afterall!

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Health Education Continued

Curiosity is one of my attributes. Comprehension is not--unless I listen to something multiple times or read it just as many. It seems certain pieces of info stick to my memory cells when other pieces evaporate into thin air.

The information I am about to share is new to me based on what I can remember learning in the past. I've been reminded that Fibro Fog is a symptom of Fibromyalgia which I sometimes prefer to forget I deal with, especially during times when I experience a lot of energy! I've been experiencing a major energy dive and with the dive of energy came an increase in physical discomfort. Nevertheless, I am intrigued with the synchronicities that have been showing up in the way of books, magazines, internet articles, and Facebook posts.

I received the September issue of Pain-Free Living Magazine. Inside are three articles, all of which are relevant to me--and maybe to you as well.

1) Putting the Pieces Back Together: Trauma is often a source of chronic pain. Here are eight ways to deal with it. 

I've been very aware for some time that multiple traumas, beginning in childhood, are known to contribute to chronic pain. We have amazing brains that are wired to protect us in three ways: Fight, Flight, or Freeze.

"In the wild, animals are exposed to trauma almost every day, threatened by predators and competitors. Yet they don't develop PTSD because they have inborn ways to release the trauma when the threat has passed. They shake, they tremble, they run around, they yowl, and they rest. Then they can go on with their lives. Humans have forgotten or suppressed those instincts, but we also face potential trauma throughout our lives."

Trauma includes war, accidents, assaults, sexual assault, sports injuries, car accidents, abuse during childhood, surgery and invasive medical procedures, parental divorce, and loss of a job (self, spouse, or parent). Then there are more complex traumas such as a difficult delivery at birth and intergenerational trauma which you inherited vs. something that has actually happened to you.

"Pain itself can become traumatic. It can seem out of our control; we may try many things without relief. It can cause fear, anger, and grief, but we can't take effective action."

"Trauma creates permanently high-stress levels. The body feels constantly threatened until the trauma is released, always ready to fight, flee or freeze. This stressed state makes pain more intense."

We get stuck in pain because we haven't released the trauma that caused it.

I've done quite a bit of work on myself to identify the many traumas my body has stored in muscle and cellular memory. The process is never done. Each time I have a 'flare-up', even if it is days on out of relentless fatigue without an increase in pain, I now know to stop (which isn't really a choice) and process whether I am just experiencing a bought of fatigue or whether I've been 'triggered' and my body is responding to what my brain is telling it to do--FREEZE. 

Of the many suggested treatments in this article, I've used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), mindfulness meditation, psychotherapy (on myself with the help of Dr. David Burn's book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy), and antidepressants. Somatic Experiencing is also suggested which teaches a process that brings you back to your body as a safe place where you can defend yourself. I haven't done this SE therapy, but I have been learning about Somatics in a different way.

In Edward Barrera's book Move Like An Animal, there is also an explanation of how trauma affects our bodies and our brains as humans vs. animals as mentioned above. I've been learning about somatic exercises--as the traumas result in sensory motor amnesia. The good news is there is a series of exercises one can do to retrain the brain to become aware of what it is supposed to do. I also purchased Thomas Hanna's book on Somatics, but Ed's book is much easier to understand and follow.

2) A complex Web: Fibromyalgia is difficult to diagnose, but a variety of treatments can ease the pain

This article reviews Fibromyalgia symptoms and possible causes as well as different approaches to treatment. Among alternative therapies are meditation and sound as studies have found that music and low-frequency sounds can reduce the pain experienced by patients. Sound has helped me quite a bit and I have saved a bunch of YouTube videos on one of my Pinterest pages to listen to. In the final paragraph are these words of wisdom: 

"Don't be hard on yourself. Rest when you need to, and don't be too sad when you find that 'friends' fall by the wayside. The important people in your life will still be there for you through it all. Lastly, you are not alone. Facebook is amazing for support groups. Hang in there."

Indeed, Facebook has quite a few support groups. In addition to mine (Lampasas Pain Support Group), I've found the following:

Dr. Joe Tatta (I read his book.)

Plus some others.

3) Breaking the Cycle of Pain: The founder of an integrative-medicine clinic explains why chronic pain should be treated as an inflammatory disease.

This article is an interview with Gary Kaplan, D.O., a clinical associate professor at Georgetown Univerisity in Washington, DC. Kaplan came to the conclusion that pain and depression are inflammatory diseases--in the brain.

"Chronic pain such as fibromyalgia, back pain, pain associated with osteoarthritis, daily headaches, and depression are not diseases but symptoms. these conditions are symptoms of inflammation of the brain."

"We have MRI studies and human and animal studies that show that we're looking at neuro-inflammatory disease of the central nervous system." -- central sensitization syndrome -- a mix of chronic pain and depression.

Right on!!!! This makes more sense to me than anything else I've read so far. 

Suggestions include:
  • eliminating foods that may be contributing to your brain being on fire.
  • meditation which is anti-inflammatory
  • get at least seven to eight hours of continuous sleep at night (so much for getting up to go pee)
  • get away from taking pills to fix things
  • read his book Total Recovery: A Revolutionary New Approach to Breaking the Cycle of Pain and Depression... a book I will add to my Amazon wish list.
Included in the article is a PAIN TEST -- a list of questions to ask yourself and talking to your doctor about the answers. The ones that apply to me are:
  • Is there anything you avoid now because of memories of a past trauma that you can't seem to shake? (often)
  • Have you been exposed to mold, toxins, or heavy metals? (all three)
  • Do you regularly encounter stressful situations such as being bullied? (not so regularly anymore but have dealt with this often in the past)
  • Have you suffered from difficult or emotionally abusive relationships? (many)
  • Do you struggle to get restful sleep? (often--between waking up to adjust my CPAP machine and to go pee)
  • Were you diagnosed with Lyme disease, Epstein-Barr virus, gluten intolerance, or Celiac disease? (EBV and gluten intolerance--refer to my next comments on grains)
  • Do you have a thyroid imbalance that may be caused by medications like opioids? (not sure, but unfortunately I took opioids for 12 years)
Kaplan concludes that meditation and exercise absolutely help regenerate the brain. Nutrition is important because the gut is the second brain.

Now for what I recently learned about grains.

I ordered the book No Grains, No Pain after listening to a talk by Dr. Peter Osborne. I heard that there are many types of gluten in ALL the grains... including ones I thought were safe like rice and oatmeal... that grains are seeds which have a substance designed by nature to protect them... and this substance is toxic to humans. So called gluten-free foods are only free of one type of gluten. You can listen to a podcast by him here: Gluten Free Diet Fails & Hidden Toxins in Gluten Free Foods

Two additional summits came my way: Beyond Pain Summit and Pain Treatments That Work 2.0. I haven't had a chance to listen to all the podcasts and interviews. Two stood out for me in the Beyond Pain Summit:

On day 3 of the Pain Treatments Summit, I heard a life changing interview with Shinzen Young on practical steps for transforming physical pain into spiritual growth. He provides instruction on how to use pain as a reminder to check into your body and learn to receive its messages through meditation. I felt encouraged that the pain in my body could have a deeper purpose and the act of daily meditation alone can be an instrument to transform the planet. I don't have to DO anything except lie still, breathe, and allow God/Spirit to become one with my body. Discipline. Maybe it's another opportunity to learn to be self-disciplined.

I was able to download the synopsis of his book and print it out: Natural Pain Relief. You can download it by clicking on the link below:

EMF's -- the wifi signals from your cell phone, router, tablet, laptop, etc. cause inflammation in the brain. Yikes! One of my sisters mailed me a little bag of rocks to put on top of my router which is supposed to reduce EMF's. There are gadgets you can put on your smartphone and tablet as well as gadgets to put under your feet or your laptop. All quite pricey. Maybe someday. I'm investing all my money into doTERRA Essential Oils, oil blends, and supplements right now.

Readers, all this education enables me to be my own advocate. I hope you can become your own advocate as well. While bouts of fatigue combined with pain force me to take time out from all I strive to achieve, triggering moments of feeling powerless, I also gain a sense of empowerment through knowledge. 

Last, but not least, the Universe has redirected me back to practicing Reiki -- on myself. First, I was sent a woman who wanted to know more about Reiki. I loaned her a book I had about it and she found it helpful. I have learned over the years acquiring attunements are not necessary to experience the healing energy that naturally flows through your hands. Many people now a-days are studying what Reiki is, the Chakras, and the hand positions to optimize this natural ability. Then after I finished reading one of many books I have, I picked up one I purchased several months ago: Intuitive Self-Healing: Achieve Balance and Wellness Through the Body's Energy Centers by Marie Manuchehri, RN. Marie is a nationally known energy intuitive and Reiki Master. This book is simple to follow with client examples and exercises you can do on your own.

Time. So elusive. Hours vanish before my eyes. 
Focus. Self-Discipline.
Move: Be still. Meditate. Move.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Emotions and Rocks

Image from Bing
Yesterday morning I was fortunate to be able to participate in a two-hour Emotions Mentor pilot class as an introduction to a three-day expanded one. Teresa needed to give two of these in order to get her certification. The grand finale was a guided meditation which I wish I could have recorded. I will attempt to recall as much as I can.

Closing your eyes, you imagine you are about to embark on a journey to the top of a mountain. However, the backpack you brought with you is filled with rocks. The road is long and the weight of the backpack drains your energy. 

You stop along the way, but only take one of the rocks out of the backpack before you continue on. It isn’t long before you are tired again from the weight of the backpack, once again choosing a rock to leave behind before you continue the journey.

This step is repeated multiple times.

Finally, you have let go of all the rocks you’ve brought with you and are able to climb to the top of the mountain.

Since I’ve been up in the mountains before, it was easy for me to imagine I was there.

What are these rocks? Subconscious beliefs about who you are, the conclusions you made during vulnerable moments when you were a child, and what you’re capable of accomplishing in life.

I knew some of the rocks I had let go of in previous years were my conclusions about the degrading words my father often spoke in our presence. I believed they were about me. I was worthless and unlovable. No matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough. 

I continued this pattern on in life attracting partners (and employers) I constantly strived to prove my worth to, resulting in perfectionism. I had to do everything I was asked to do and do it perfectly, putting my own needs last. I allowed circumstances to happen – no matter how uncomfortable – just for the sake of feeling I had value. My soul rebelled by manifesting illness and physical pain. It was my only perceived way out, even though the consequences were dire.

During this meditation, I discovered a new layer to my perceived subconscious money blocks. It helped that Teresa had shared how she had come to the conclusion that SHE wasn’t good enough when her mother said certain words. Yet, Teresa had carried the conclusion on into her adult life which ran as a background program in her subconscious mind. In her marriage, when she heard her husband say certain things, she lost her temper and walked out of the room. It turned out what her mother said meant something completely different and her husband didn’t mean what she made his words mean. Until she let go of her ROCKS, she was unable to become successful at what she does now. I greatly admired her transparency.

I’m in the meditation, walking the path, carrying rocks in my backpack, digesting the words Teresa had spoken when clarity began to surface.

Dad was the youngest child. He wanted to be as big and strong as his brothers. His older brothers did well in the world financially, while Dad didn’t. (Keep in mind Dad was challenged with Aspergers which he never figured out – we did after nephew Brett was diagnosed.) I often heard Dad talk about his brothers in derogatory ways regarding money and women. 

I had concluded based on these words that not only was it not OK to have money, it was not OK to be a WOMAN and have money, never mind be successful.

I have been looking up to the women who could get on a stage, earn thousands of dollars giving amazing speeches, putting them on pedestals, wishing I could get there, too. It’s why I joined Toastmasters. I’d be happy if I could even stand in front of a dozen people and speak. In Toastmasters, lots of women are getting on stages, doing workshops, and giving amazing speeches. Lots of women are highly sought after public speakers. 

YET, something – one or more rocks – continued to hold me back. I thought it was fear of losing the security of my disability benefits. Maybe this is still one of the rocks, but I think I discovered what the BIG one is  –  the subconscious belief that it is not OK for me to have lots of money or be successful.

I bought a bag of small flat shiny rocks yesterday afternoon for symbolism.

The meditation helped me realize which rocks I was still carrying.

What if I could leave behind the last of them? How far could I go?

What if YOU could leave behind the rocks you carry? How far could YOU go?

Note: Theta Belief Work, EFT, and Essential Oils are tools for letting go of rocks.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

The Little Pill

As I placed the tiny pill (Mirtazapine/Anti-Depressant) into my daily pill reminder, it finally sunk in how much power a tiny little pill has on the human body. (Animals, too.) One tiny Ativan or Valium can sedate you in the midst of an anxiety attack. One tiny pill can lower your blood pressure. How much power do you think the food you eat has? And the chemical additives and preservatives have? And the toxins in skin-care products and household cleaners?

I can appreciate the miraculous system of my body to process the food I eat and the fluids I drink, but I no longer want to give it more than it can handle – and create and maintain optimal health. By optimal, I mean the best I am capable of giving my body – to support its pre-existing conditions 
 with the hope it will continue to grow stronger.

In the meantime, since buying doTerra Peppermint oil, I’ve had an insatiable appetite to inhale it and drink water with two drops in it. Two TINY drops. All day long, each time I refill my glass of water.

When I mentioned this to my ‘teacher,’ she responded, “Well, of course! Peppermint is anti-inflammatory! That makes perfect sense!”

At that moment, I realized that two tiny drops had been, indeed, reducing overall pain… a pleasant addition to getting more Oxygen during the night while I sleep with the CPAP. My other favorite right now is Past Tense. I roll some of this on the vertebrae of my neck and feel the warmth spread, while the scent of delicious oils permeates my senses.

And then there’s HOPE. I was intrigued, so I ordered a bottle. It smells wonderful! doTerra created HOPE to give out to children who are being enslaved by sex trafficking, with the promise they would be rescued by the Healing Hands Foundation, which partners with Operation Underground Railroad. Did you even know there was one? They hand out bottles of HOPE to children they are seeking to rescue (it's a process) to let them know a rescue is planned. All profits from selling this oil to the rest of us benefits this Foundation as well. 

Knowing I am buying something ($20 a bottle) that makes this much difference in the lives of children, gives me HOPE for this world. doTerra partners with indigenous people in other countries as well for plant farming in their natural habitat. While the plants are being attended by the farmers, doTerra provides those who participate improved quality of living. I know when I buy the oils, I am also contributing to decent salaries (charities) all over the world vs. buying products that are produced by child labor for pennies.

Back to the tiny pill. I was one of many who were brainwashed to believe the pharma pills had all the power, along with the doctors who prescribed them. Back in 2010, I was taking 11 prescription drugs every day. Now I only take two. 

May I, as well as many others, find solutions for their health with clean eating… and Certified Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils, like doTerra. (The ones sold in Walmart say they are not safe to ingest and likely diluted with additives.) Indeed, it surely is nice to crave Peppermint oil instead of sweets and junk food!

Monday, May 15, 2017


We all have our stories. Since the beginning of time, there have been story-tellers. The bible is filled with them. The first one that pops into my mind is the story of Job. I relate to this one because my life felt like his... only he stood his ground in his faith, while I wavered in a state of confusion.

When you were a child, hopefully someone read stories to you. Then hopefully, you learned to read and you read lots of books. Perhaps they were fantasy, perhaps they were mysteries, perhaps they were adventure, perhaps they were romance. Or politics, war, history, and religion. His-story. What about Her-story?

What are your stories? Do you have the courage to tell them?

This past week, I was invited to tell my 'story'. Twice. I was thinking about this while I took a shower this morning. What could I conclude by being asked twice in the same week? I tend to be a bit long-winded (self perception) when someone invites me to tell how I was able to walk again after being wheelchair dependent for about five years. How does one explain in just a few minutes the complex process of what I went through to get back on my feet? Or how the stress of life circumstances kept me incapacitated? After all, it wasn't something simple like having non-invasive back surgery.

Because I couldn't get the help I needed and didn't know what type of help would benefit me the most, the journey was a complex one. I decided to read, study, and research for myself how to get myself better. Now that I reflect back on these years, I realize I must have somehow known I COULD get better.

I had to come to terms with the Law of Attraction... how I was inviting most of the disastrous scenarios into my life because it was all I was focused on. 

I found out about the 10 forms of twisted thinking (cognitive distortions) which led to my being able to finally climb out of the black hole I fell into. I'm sure it helped that I acknowledged I had every single one of them. When I discovered my thoughts were all twisted and my conclusions mostly false, I got excited because this meant I could find the ones that were true!

I learned that stress, my perception of life events, and lack of knowledge of stress-reduction techniques kept me incapacitated. Stress is a complex mix ranging from negative thoughts, a sedentary life, poor nutrition, side effects to medications, grief, and more. When the stress subsided, the sun in my world came out. Literally. Imagine waking up one day and actually noticing the sun was shining and the sky was blue.

Yes, I had lots of stories. However, the people I told my stories to didn't want to hear them so their responses affected my self-esteem.

I used to tell lots of stories about how bad everything was in my life. There weren't any happy endings... and there's nothing like hearing from others that one of my stories was about their life, too... only they didn't know how to tell their own story... or like I used to feel, that no one cared or would listen.

Google search or type in the YouTube search box 'TED Talks' and you will find many stories. The rage now is to incorporate story-telling to create connections with other people... in politics, religion... even in sales and marketing. The catch is, you must find the right audience to listen to them. Family may not be this audience, especially when they are caught up in their own toxic life, yet refuse to tell anyone what's going on inside their head.

I Googled the Psychology of Storytelling and found an article in Psychology Today.

"Stories are authentic human experiences. Stories leap frog the technology and bring us to the core of experience, as any good storyteller (transmedia or otherwise) knows. There are several psychological reasons why stories are so powerful."

Here's the link so you can read the rest of the article:

I really like this part:

"Stories are about collaboration and connection. They transcend generations, they engage us through emotions, and they connect us to others. Through stories we share passions, sadness, hardships and joys. We share meaning and purpose. Stories are the common ground that allows people to communicate, overcoming our defenses and our differences. Stories allow us to understand ourselves better and to find our commonality with others."

I wish I knew back then what I know now, how important my stories were and still are. Now that I am in Toastmasters, I am learning how to tweak them to become specific speeches. My challenge is figuring out how to condense my really long stories down to five minutes and choosing which parts of the stories would have the most impact. 

I also can't help but wonder if our core desire to have good stories to tell resulted in the life we experience. Which came first? The chicken or the egg? Do we decide what our stories will be before we are born? Was the life we lived created by these stories? When we figure out we are powerful creators - creating our own lives, can we completely change gears and create a new one? So far, I am finding the answer to this last question to be yes.

My deepest desire is to feel connection. Now that I feel safe sharing my stories and I'm receiving validation for having the courage to share them, I confidently move forward! I am told my newfound joy is infectious and somehow, someway, I will figure out how to effectively inspire transformation in others. 

What's more, I recently published two new books. The first, Alternate Realities: Daydreams of Conversations is a collection of short stories based on my life experiences only with imaginary happy endings. 

"Once upon a time... as all fairy tales begin... sparks the imagination. I recently began writing them after I came across the concept that regardless of how difficult your life has been, you can recreate your life by imagining and writing a different story. For those who like to immerse themselves in all kinds of possibilities, I recommend that you write some of your own. Who knows? One of them might come true! The following short stories are in this book: The Psychologist, The Barista Restaurant, Twin Flame, Wish Maker, The Blue Stone, Kindred Spirits, Fairy God Father"

Buy on Amazon

I also updated and republished Personal Journal & Recipes for Healthy Living

"Is your life perfect? Excellent mental and physical health? Doing what you love? Then you don't need this book. For the rest of you, in Personal Journal & Recipes for Healthy Living, the recipes are not just food related. In between these 'recipes' are journaling exercises guided by wisdom on how to proceed. The journaling exercises lead up to the grand finale of how to write and publish your own book using what you wrote in this journal. Inside are snapshots of just about all aspects of life including goal setting, thought watching, mental health, nutrition, complementary and alternative medicine, exploring childhood memories, stress management, faith, and budgeting. I made this journal simple vs. complex as I personally need simple!"

The revised version is not available on Amazon yet, but here it is on CreateSpace.

Buy on CreateSpace

Thank you for stopping by and reading my post. Please share... how have your stories affected your life and what have you done to create new ones?

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Autoimmune, Calcium, Sleep Apnea, Pain, & Vaccines

I finished reading The Autoimmune Fix — and learned more about what Dr. Mark Wiley wrote in Arthritis Reversed. Then I read The Calcium Lie II — and learned about all the physical, emotional, and mental consequences of drinking milk and taking Calcium supplements.

The Calcium Lie II has answered many questions and solved many mysteries. I had forgotten about meeting the mysterious Dr. Stephen King in the P.O. parking lot back in 2011 who had told me to STOP taking calcium supplements. It was accumulating in my joints, muscles, and even my brain (depression). I did for a while, but bent to the pressures of my past M.D. to take them again.

Highlights from The Calcium Lie II:

Before refrigeration, food (meat) was preserved in Rock Salt / Sea Salt which had ALL the minerals in it. Even cattle are given rock salt so they get their minerals. Post refrigeration, because the salt clumped together, all the minerals were processed out. When people were getting goiters, iodine was added back, but without all the other minerals our mineral balance is thrown off. As a result, the general population became mineral deficient and it all went downhill from there.

They say our soil is depleted so we don’t get enough nutrients. They add Ascorbic Acid to food and call it Vitamin C, which it isn’t so we are C deficient.... and it goes on...

The bakers didn’t like that flour clumped together either, so they processed the health benefits out, added bromine to keep it from clumping, and a few isolated vitamins. This flour went into all the baked goods along with iodized salt.

What are the health benefits of bromine? Have you ever asked? I certainly didn’t…

“Bromine is corrosive to human tissue in a liquid state and its vapors irritate eyes and throat. Bromine vapors are very toxic with inhalation. Humans can absorb organic bromines through the skin, with food and during breathing.”

And just like there doesn’t seem to be an escape from Roundup (glyphosate), avoiding grains won’t keep you safe from Bromine. They spray it on berries to keep them from getting moldy from the time they are picked to the time they get to market.

I watched the movie Food, Inc. on Netflix and learned even more about what is in most of the food we eat. Scary stuff!

I’ve been wishing for a solution to my sore, achy knees and legs. Still studying, researching, and hopeful. There’s so much I want to do and sometimes I feel ???? because my legs hurt too much to walk around anywhere. I haven’t even been able to go walking around my beautiful creek.

Along came The 2017 Tapping World Summit. I had already purchased The Tapping Solution for Pain Relief, but haven’t read it yet. While listening to various podcasts from this summit, I used my phone to record some of the tapping sequences — tools for purging stress and emotional components of pain and illness. Muscle spasm? Think aggravated, frustrated, angry, about things like:

“Why is this still happening? I’m eating right, taking the right supplements, drinking enough water, etc. I’m so frustrated! I’m doing everything I’m supposed to and the pain is still there!”

Mmmm. If all these other practitioners are using it, I can work on this, too. Instead of tapping on pain, you tap on the emotions, which include rejection, disappointment, anger, frustration, and resentment associated with the pain.

While The Tapping World Summit was going on, The Thyroid Secret began. More information about how stress-filled life throws everything out of balance and how the ‘Alopathic’ docs prescribe drugs for the symptoms vs. getting to the root cause… which includes toxins, SAD (Standard American Diet), and clearing the stories you’ve been telling yourself about all the life situations that resulted in stress-induced imbalances.

On the lineup to read is Heal Your Pain Now by Dr. Joe Tatta. Debora Wayne has an interesting program, too, and I subscribed to her emails. She says pain is solid and we can change it to fluid and then vapor. Your pain is REAL, but you can locate the source of the pain (emotions and/or memories) and release all the STUCK energy.

Within the same week, Kristin’s Essential Oil class was on PTSD. There is actually a trigger cycle. 3% of our brain is conscious. 97% is subconscious. We are ruled by the subconscious memories and conclusions (blueprint) which can easily be ‘triggered’ by things as tiny as someone looking at you wrong or saying the wrong word or when you hear certain sounds.

Within this same week, I decided to get Ambika’s BioTerrain testing done (urine analysis). The physical aspects of the pain can be attributed to an acidic body. When the body is overly acidic, the body takes minerals from vital organs and bones to neutralize the acid and remove it from the body.

I am not only acidic, I have high levels of Ammonia, Nitrates, and Oxidation. My body is trying to alkalize itself by pulling minerals from my bones. Very enlightening!

I asked if Sleep Apnea can contribute to this. She said yes. Not enough oxygen.

And the intuitive healer I saw at the Metaphysical Fair when I went to visit with Ambika told me I wasn’t breathing enough through my diaphragm. I love how everything comes together like a Master Mind team to come up with actual solutions.

In my opinion, medicine is like religion and politics. People go to med school to become doctors and most believe what they are taught, just like most students believe the history they are taught in school is correct when it’s not. Now that I’ve had the opportunity to listen to hundreds of docs from all over the world who have changed their religion or political affiliation to alternative / functional medicine, more people are becoming aware that the pharmaceutical / medical industry is a money making greedy business designed to keep us sick so they can make money off of treatments and drugs.


There are other tests I am considering, but perhaps won’t be needed in addition to the BioTerrain. Dr. Thompson (The Calcium Lie II) recommends a hair mineral analysis test so you can see a blueprint of which minerals you need (in addition to eating sea salt and taking organic ionic minerals).

There is the full spectrum thyroid testing (which my MD won’t do even though my TSH was too high) but Ambika, who has had thyroid issues since she was a young teen, gave me the book, Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms? to read. Thyroid levels change on a daily basis and testing would have to be done frequently.

I am also interested in the antibody panel, which will show specifically what your immune system is attacking. But why look for more trouble? If I can get my pH levels up and more oxygen while I sleep, since I don’t get colds or flu, I’ll walk this path for now… while dreaming of walking physically on paths in nature that I yearn for.

If only I could go back in time to when I was 38 years old and my body couldn’t handle any more of the stressful life I was living. It complained by spreading the sensation of pain to every part of my ‘physical’ body, while my ‘emotional’ body clung to the pain for its perceived protection. I was on fight or flight survival mode, running from unhappiness vs. a tiger.

According to everything I’ve been listening to about EFT (and treatments for pain) the pain was keeping me SAFE. The trouble is, it was keeping me SAFE inside the tiger’s mouth, and I felt the tiger’s sharp teeth all over my body.

The diagnosis was Fibromyalgia and the pain management doc I went to (thank you for taking care of me) began to prescribe heavy duty drugs to dull the pain. I had been stuffing / packing tight the emotions of trauma deep in the crevices of my body and it cooperated by holding on to everything I took in. Thank you, body, for keeping me SAFE.

In between all the research, reading, and studying in the areas of Mind-Body-Spirit medicine, I came across information on Obstructive Sleep Apnea. I wondered… could I have this?

I read somewhere that when you don’t get enough oxygen while you sleep, you can wake up tired and ache all over. Sounds like Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, doesn’t it? I thought so.

“Sleep Apnea in Patients With Fibromyalgia: A Growing Concern. Patients with fibromyalgia have a tenfold increase in sleep-disordered breathing, including obstructive sleep apnea.”

Besides CBT, I wonder what would have happened if I had been given a CPAP instead of drugs. I have early memories of waking up in the middle of the night gasping for air… before I began to take all the sedating medications.

I also have memories of being unable to move my body while thinking I was awake. It was terrifying. My crazy immature imagination thought I was being held down by some evil force. Have you ever experienced this really scary scenario? Scary because you had no clue what was happening? Add this to the other PTSD experiences you cope with. The light in the scary closet came on when I discovered something called sleep paralysis. However, my subconscious was still storing the fear.

“Sleep paralysis is a phenomenon in which a person either during falling asleep (Hypnagogia) or awakening (Hypnopompia), temporarily experiences an inability to move, speak, or react. It is a transitional state between wakefulness and sleep, characterized by muscle atonia (muscle weakness).”

So, was it sleep apnea this whole time? In addition to a fight or flight switch that never turned off? Your body can’t heal while in this fight or flight state.

I really had to do a LOT of work on myself and track all the positive things which came my way before realizing I was no longer in danger — that I was safe. That I have guardian angels and a God who watches over me. It took writing “Miracles Sandwiched Between the Challenges,” before I began to allow fear of life to subside, in addition to experiencing Theta Healing.

On Mar 29, I got a CPAP. I feel like an astronaut — or maybe a scuba diver. The original mask I got wasn’t right for me and I had to wait a week and a half for some new ones to come in. Even with this new one, I am not liking how tight the straps have to be to keep the mask snug against my face when the pressure of air goes up. I hope there is a solution. My machine includes a humidifier which eases my chronically blocked sinuses.

This past week, along came Pain Treatments That Work and The Truth About Vaccines. Awesome information about the Mind-Body connection to halting the pain cycle. Shocking information about what is in vaccines – as well as the fact they are not tested in clinical trials the way the drugs are. They have higher than the safe amounts of aluminum to trigger inflammation, thimerosal (mercury), foreign DNA from other species, and glyphosate (Roundup). In present time, the CDC mandates children receive 46 vaccines by the time they are six years old, 26 by the time they are two. They are poisoning our children! At this rate, we won’t need an atom bomb to wipe out most of the population. They are using VACCINES!

Sweet dreams!