Broken Wings

One may never know the source of their health issues until they begin to explore the spiritual aspects of their past lives to get a glimpse of what they brought into their current one.

The ceramic woman below originally had wings. I can't remember where I found it. In one of many moves, one of the wings broke off. I sadly broke the other one off as well. But I couldn’t help but wonder… could the nagging pain in my upper back as well as the uncomfortable pin pricking sensation be because I used to have wings that had broken off?

Ordinarily, one could shrug all this off as hogwash… except the details coincide with what other energy healers have told me along with personal discoveries.

Bryan is a psychic medium and healer. In an online event, even over Zoom, he made eye contact with me and said, “Use your clairaudience. It’s your strongest.” I had to look up what clairaudience means. When you have a skill like this one or any other one, it feels normal to you. I didn’t know I had this ‘gift.’ It’s the reason I heard that voice telepathically that told me to go to the laundromat back in 2010.

This led to a few sessions with Bryan that included a general reading, a reading to discover who my spirit guides were (along with their names), and what some of my past lives were. I was curious, not expecting anything significant. Then I was amazed by what he told me when he matter of factly answered my list of questions with what I knew to be true. One of the questions I asked was if he could see if I had wings that had broken off. Yes, he did. (I wondered about the Nephilim of the bible... was I one of their offspring?) He also said the wound could be healed… energetically. 

 
Bryan would be telling me one thing and suddenly mention something else - like, “your heart was broken by a person of authority” and “your stuck belief is you are broken” which led me to wonder, once again, about broken wings. Perhaps without my wings, I felt powerless.  

In a past life session to explore the root of chronic throat irritation, Bryan said I had taken a vow of silence in a past life. I contemplated the silence I climbed inside of for so much of this life.

I then went to see Ambika and ask her about chronic throat irritation - a physical reason for it. Instead, she asked, “Would you like to explore the emotions behind this issue?”

“Sure, why not?”

Ambika has a whole list of talents and skills she acquired over the years, including ThetaHealing®. In this particular session, she said I had to swallow a lot of stuff (stress and abuse) in my life… and in past lives as well. Then she asked me if I can remember ever being strangled. No, I couldn’t… but the following day, I remembered feeling a sense of terror as I witnessed my father strangling my little brother in one of his temper flares. My mother did get him to let go, and when he realized how close he came to killing his child, he never did anything like that again. But I had to ‘swallow’ the experience just like I ‘swallowed’ so many other experiences. There was no one to talk to about it. I'm sure I concluded that if he did it to my brother, he could do it to me. Therefore, I am not safe. It's interesting that I developed intestinal pain from what was diagnosed as anxiety after that. 

As a child, I wasn’t allowed to speak up about anything and did, indeed, swallow it all… stuffing it down deep into my body. I've learned this is what bodies do to protect you. I continued to swallow many other situations such as abusive partners, bosses, medical procedures, and more.

I then had an additional session with Ambika to dig deeper. I was surprised when she picked up past lives that included some of what Bryan had told me. In the digging process, I identified the belief that I am a throw-a-way… in addition to the one that I am broken. This was followed by a ThetaHealing® session to pull these beliefs and replace them with new ones. 

Historically, people were absolutely brutal… especially to women... and unfortunately, some of this still exists today. Many of us believed we had no choice but to take the abuse... that we deserved the abuse. I thought about the wings of the ceramic woman I threw away. Maybe I should have kept them in a safe place.

I don’t discount three scenarios or messages in a row with similar information. Add a fourth scenario that happened just after readings from both Bryan and Ambika: the cat that showed up that had been attacked by something that left puncture wounds on his throat… resulting in an abscess that suffocated him. I didn’t see this as a random event. I have often felt like I was suffocating.

But this isn’t the end of the story. Once core beliefs and roots to illness and chronic pain are identified and brought to the surface, the next step is to learn the skills to manage them, transform them, and become empowered. One must learn to be their own superhero. I am working on it.

Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Once upon a time, I felt unloved. Because I felt unloved, I tried to find people to love me. All I got, were friends & partners who reflected back to me how I felt about myself and what I thought I deserved to have. Back then, I didn't even know how to feel loved by God / The Creator of everything that exists. As I grow into my 6th decade, I reflect back on some of the most important things I've learned so far.

Practice loving your 5-year-old self. If necessary, also practice loving younger versions as well. Find one or more photos of yourself when you were about 5 years old. Isn't he/she adorable? Cute? Lovable? Sweet? Precious? Huggable? When did you stop believing this about yourself? This child still lives inside of you. You are the age you are and every age you ever were. If you concluded by the time you were 5 years old that you were NOT worthy of love based on your parenting or traumatic experiences, you grew into an adult who has no idea the conclusions you made were false.

Become aware. Watch your thoughts. Write them down. If they are negative or degrading thoughts, what proof do you have they are true? (Dr. David Burns--Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy). I read a great book by Stephen Shaw "I AM." I was challenged by racing negative thoughts and Stephen was, too... until he met a wise man who instructed him to see them as flocks of birds and just watch them. Don't let them take over your mind. Ever since then, every time I see a flock of birds, (especially crows & blackbirds), I remember this book.

Do you find yourself judging others? Thinking negative about others? Their actions? This will give you a clue that you are also judging yourself. You will also keep attracting people and situations into your life to reflect what you are focusing on. Once you realize this is what is happening, you can catch yourself in the 'act.'

Use tools such as EFT / Tapping to interrupt self-sabotaging thoughts. There are books and many YouTube videos on the topic. The 2017 Tapping World Summit is about to begin so if you're interested, look it up online.

Find a Theta Healer or take a Theta Healing class. What I love about Theta is the belief work. After old thought patterns and beliefs are 'pulled,' you must have new beliefs to replace them. Otherwise, you can feel disconnected and lost. Your identity was just pulled and you are left with Who Am I? The Theta Practitioner 'downloads' you with new ones... including what it FEELS like to be loved, trusted, respected, have abundance, and more... I felt amazing after I received my new 'downloads,' and my life seemed to take off! Vianna Stibel wrote two books on Theta Healing which include just about every negative thought pattern/belief known to mankind. She explains how these can manifest as health problems. As you flip through the pages, you can find which beliefs you want to work on. It's especially nice to see there are common beliefs among all of us, and we are not alone. I also learned that all the positive affirmations in the world can't override what is in your subconscious belief system. It helps to find a qualified Theta Healer. Hint: When you take a class (3 days) you get a ton of downloads -- a more economical way to get multiple sessions in a single weekend.

Treat your body like it is a beloved garden. I wrote "Growing An Internal Garden" on ways to do this. Your body will appreciate the steps you take to become a healthier person through food, exercise, water, and self-love. The flowers of your body (your cells) will appreciate you. There is always a new online webinar/podcast series to teach you what you can do to become your own health advocate. My previous post is on Winter of Wellness 2017. By the time symptoms begin showing up, your poor body has already been overloaded and needs your help. Learn to be a detective and don't rely on medical doctors to figure out what you need. Blood tests only show current conditions. Doctors can only do what they were trained to do, which is to order tests and prescribe medication for the symptoms that show up.

Never stop learning new things. I love my Toastmasters group where there is always something new to learn pertaining to self-confidence, communicating, and leadership. I've said it before, but every week I hear inspirational speeches which keep me motivated. Many of these speeches are about over-coming life's adversities. The evaluations are made with the sandwich method to ensure you walk away with something to grow on. Many introverts come out of their shells and begin to shine (like me).

Last, but not least, fill your senses with Essential Oils. doTERRA has a set of Emotional Aromatherapy Blends that comes with a chart. What do you want to feel less of? Find this on the chart. The chart will direct you to which blend would help you feel what you want to feel more of. My personal favorite at this time is Motivate. Buying the whole kit is much less expensive than buying them separately. 

Remember: You as a human are a work in progress. As long as you are alive, you have growth potential. Life is a journey, not a destination. I look forward to the next 30 years!

What is your takeaway from this post? Where are you at this time in your life? Have you explored any of the things I've listed here? Do you have any questions? Please leave your comments below.

Navigating the Universe of my Body

Indeed, just like planets and stars make up a universe of galaxies, I’ve learned the human body is an amazing universe as well—more like a collection of universes. After all, everything is energy! Even emotions! (Energy in Motion.) When energy is dense, objects appear solid. I thought rocks were solid inanimate objects, but they are energy beings, too! Same with our bodies. I even wrote a little imaginary tale about this in my eBook, The Adventures of Gnat.

Since this blog, in addition to being a letter for friends, family, and readers is also an online journal, I am writing about what's new with my explorations of the human body. In a previous post, I wrote about my obsessions. This one is on health.

1) I read Vianna Stibel's book titled: Theta Healing and in June participated in the Basic Theta Healing class from a certified Theta Instructor. Vianna had discovered that regardless of what your doctor or metaphysical healer does for you, if there are any subconscious beliefs blocking or resisting the healing, a healing session won't be successful. There are numerous ‘digging’ exercises to work through to identify negative core beliefs. I am amazed how just becoming AWARE of what they are can begin a shift in consciousness. Vianna has listed in her books just about every belief to mankind that exists and it is nice to know we are all really more connected that we think. The next step is to begin clearing these negative beliefs and replacing them with positive ones which are done by receiving ‘downloads’ of the positive beliefs and feelings that you don’t already have. You cannot experience love, for instance, if you don’t know what it FEELS like. You can say affirmations all day every day like “I am loved, I feel loved, I have abundance, I can speak my truth, I deserve to exist, I am supported by God,” but if you don’t know what these FEEL like, it won’t happen. I don’t think it was coincidence that after I received these ‘downloads,’ I began to receive abundance in unexpected ways and new situations began to show up in my life to support these new downloaded beliefs.

2) I am now reading the sequel titled: Advanced Theta Healing. There is a lot more information about the belief work as well as information about the seven planes of existence. I often read multiple books at one time, so I am also reading Teal Scott’s (her married name at the time it was published): The Sculptor in the Sky. Words I read tend to flow through me and I’m sure I’ll have to read these books multiple times before I can assimilate the information. In May, I read I AM: A Journey to Enlightenment by Stephen Shaw which I will definitely read multiple times!

3) At an introduction to Tibetan Pulsation taught by the same instructor, I learned how the organs of our bodies resonate to sound—and there is a complex process of combining ‘trigger’ words to specific sounds for each organ. In addition to the complexity of this modality, just like in astrology, there are certain times of the year when specific organs are ‘activated’ so it is suggested you work on the sounds/trigger words for the organ of ‘resonance’ at those specific times. I am amazed at how many different ways a person can pursue healing!

4) At the end of May, I had a ‘check-up’ with my doctor and the usual blood tests. My Triglycerides were still too high. I showed my doctor that a side effect of Mirtazapine—of which I was taking 45 mg. of—was elevated Triglycerides so I wanted to wean off of the drug. I gradually decreased the dose over the month and by the end of June was completely off of it… probably a bit too quickly for this type of drug. I didn’t fare too well. The high dose of 45 mg. kept nerve and muscle pain at bay so for the entire month of July I dealt with a severe headache (felt like the top of my head would explode—and that my brain was swollen), a stomach ache, and some nausea in addition to muscular skeletal contractions. If that wasn’t bad enough, I couldn’t focus and had symptoms of major ADD and ADHD. My Theta Healer person suggested I get back on this medication even though she doesn’t usually recommend pharmaceutical drugs. There must be something about the month of July—when growing spurts have been occuring.

5) That same week, I went to the local Acupuncturist/Chinese Medicine lady hoping she would have a different solution. I filled out about 15 pages of intake forms. During the one-hour consultation with her, I was absolutely amazed when she presented me with a single sheet of paper and explained how all my symptoms indicated an imbalance of Yin and Yang—quite simply, my Yin was diminished and my Yang was too over-powering—and something about my body having too much heat and many of my symptoms are its way of trying to cool down. And even though she didn’t support the use of pharmaceutical drugs, she also suggested I get back on Mirtazapine. I returned to the doctor and got 15 mg. to start back up on. Better to start at the lowest dose and work your way up. With just 15 mg. the headache, stomachache, nausea, ADD, & ADHD disappeared by the following morning so I never increased the dose. However, I still had the muscular skeletal stuff to deal with. I really like waking up at first light vs. before needing to sleep until 10 when I was taking 45 mg.

6) Magic Potion Chinese Tea: I didn’t feel any different after the first batch of ‘tea’ I received so the formula was changed. Wow! An hour after the first dose, I felt pleasantly numb (absence of pain.) As long as I kept drinking the stuff all day long, I was able to plug along at all the tasks I wanted to do. I’m sure it helped that I was drinking more fluids in general. I returned in a week for another week’s supply and reported the results. She said, “Chinese Medicine ROCKS!” Last week’s potion didn’t seem as strong and I hope the next batch is! I laugh at the thought that while some people are getting ‘high’ on ‘weed’, I am getting ‘high’ on ‘tea.’ I sincerely hope the FDA doesn’t decide to eliminate Chinese Medicine!

7) Hormones? I read about the consequences of having too much Estrogen and not enough Progesterone—or an imbalance of hormones in general. I suspected I was dealing with post hysterectomy/oophorectomy hormone imbalances so I asked my Chinese Medicine lady if any of the herbs that were in the tea were for balancing hormones. She replied, “All of them!”

8) Both the owner of Curves and my Chinese Medicine lady are advocates for doTerra essential oils. I went to several two-hour ‘classes’ on everything these oils can do. Someday I will spring for more of the oils and especially, the diffuser! I have some of the basics—Lavender, Wild Orange, Lemon, Peppermint, as well as OnGuard (which took care of a gum infection when I rinsed with it) and my all-time favorite: Motivate! All kinds of Mood formulas were passed around for us to sniff. When I sniffed Motivate, I was in heaven! Let’s all get high on oil! (Side-note: just like in politics, there is an ongoing debate between doTERRA people and Young Living people. Either way, there seems to be an epidemic of essential oils. I hope the supply can keep up with demand!)

9) My poor sore feet. I've had feet challenges for as long as I can remember. They pronate in and pull on my knees. There are very few shoes my feet want to wear. I've spent mucho bucks on all kinds of insoles in addition to comfort shoes. And then... I found Massaging Gel Insoles by AirFeet!!! They are not what you can get over the counter (this year, anyway) and are about $45, but I was desperate. They are everything they were promised to be. My one pair easily goes in and out of whichever shoes I want to wear that day. They don’t get stinky, either. I bought mine directly from AirFeet but you can see the description on Amazon HERE.

10) I can't forget my awesome orthopedic gel cushion which keeps my butt and the back of my thighs from getting numb and tingly so I can enjoy sitting longer. I take it with me to practically everywhere! You can see the product description on Amazon HERE.

11) Making friends with my intuition: in Theta Healing, you use muscle testing to check for which beliefs are lingering in your subconscious. There are several ways to muscle test, but I decided to try the one when you stand and allow your body to fall forward or backwards depending on if the answer is yes or no. (Not all the way forward or back—you catch yourself before you’ve gone too far.) I have been challenged with decision making and don’t really have another person to bounce things off of so when I began to get definite yes and no’s for just about everything from what to wear to what to eat to where to go (or not), I discovered I get answers—from my own body! It became a fun game and I even use this method to avoid foods I shouldn’t eat. I am more likely to put aside something that isn’t healthy for me when my body muscle tests NO to it. I may have lost my mind, but each time I hold something or look at something and ask yes or no, I fall forward or backwards. I feel like I have an invisible best friend now!

12) Psychological: Toastmasters continues to provide a nurturing growing experience for me as I pursue the education it offers in leadership and communication. Other ingredients it adds to my life are: inclusion, acceptance, encouragement, feeling valued, being told my smile is genuine and contagious, as well as team-building and relationship skills. I am getting used to continuous spurts of growth as well as learning curves so they aren’t as stressful as they started out to be. Because two of the other organizations I volunteer as Executive Secretary don’t have any structure in place, I have been doing almost everything myself—making sure everything that needs to be done gets done. When I first began doing the same thing in my Toastmasters group, (out of habit), our President invited me to a private ‘meeting.’ I was getting used to ‘Evaluations’ where you are told both your strengths and what you can approve on so I didn’t worry too much. What an amazing, intuitive lady! As she learned more about my background, she informed me that in Toastmasters, I could TRUST the others to pull their own weight. I could relax and stay in my own lane without worrying about anything not getting done. I could even trust I wouldn’t be ABANDONED! How did she know I had past abandonment issues? Plus, she advised me to make sure I take care of my ‘baby’ which is my passion for writing.

I hope you got something out of this article in the way of some alternative ways to pursue your own health and well-being... a journey well worth taking. Do you have a question you'd like to ask me? Or a comment you would like to make? Post a comment if the comment box is there or click on 'comments' to type one in! Thanks!