The Person Who Can Change Your Life

Some of us have struggled so hard with this... our self-image being formed by parents and teachers who told us we weren't good enough or smart enough... and we had believed it. I had believed this. 

I couldn't hear as well as others could and until we moved to a new school district that tested for hearing & eyesight (I was going into 4th grade), no one knew I couldn't see clearly for more than 10 inches in front of my face or couldn't hear sounds above a certain decibel and couldn't understand the enunciation of words that most people were saying. This held me back in school, and so I believed from an early age that I was a helpless kitten who needed others to guide me through life... and most of the time the people who were guiding me were not healthy for me to be with. 

I wasn't hearing enough of what I COULD do to counter all the things I couldn't (with the exception of the office work I used to do). My challenges were accentuated by being born with a birth defect in my lower spine called Spina Bifida Occulta and Spondylolisthesis. I didn't know about this until I was 50 years old. It was the reason my hamstrings had always been extremely tight which affected my ability to participate in normal gym activities in school. Because I couldn't do what the other children could do, I felt incompetent in this area as well.

Self-love is such an important aspect of your life. I now believe that I was chronically ill for many years because of the low-grade depression I felt due to my limiting beliefs. Not feeling good enough for anything really GOOD, I ended up in many dysfunctional relationships which modeled the one my parents had. I also lived a mostly sedentary lifestyle, believing my body wasn't capable of being stronger than it was. 

With the help of compassionate health food store owners who also studied Chinese Medicine, I learned how to strengthen my immune system and recovered from the chronic illnesses. However, I still had to deal with the symptoms of full-blown fibromyalgia aka myofascial pain syndrome. I avoided physical exercise because of pain. I ended up taking a LOT of medications, many to compensate for the side effects of others. I hadn't learned yet that most of the medications I was taking to cope with symptoms were actually making it all worse.

With a brand new year, January 2015, at 59 years of age. I decided to trade most of the medications I was taking for exercise, especially after learning that the woman who owned Curves in my town had recovered from a severe car accident and ten surgeries as a result of the injuries through exercise. I wrote in a previous post about the book Younger Next Year and had started to exercise by going on 20-minute walks, but this wasn't going to be enough to counter the effects of osteoporosis. 

Sonja turned out to be the perfect personal trainer for me. I knew if she could recover and do all that she does with the severity of the injuries she sustained and all the surgeries (including hip replacements) she had, I could. Merely one month later, the parts of my body that were too weak to do certain machines are stronger. I no longer need her to assist me with the devices I couldn't do on my own when I started. Unlike all my other attempts to join gyms and exercise (which were short-lived), I can stick to this. And there is nothing better than receiving praise for how much improvement you are making! 

I also began the new year with the completion of my 7th book: Growing An Internal Garden to Cope With Chronic Illness, Pain, and Depression, which began as a project for myself for maintaining my health.

Transformation is an amazing sensation when we finally realize that we are strong and smart... more than good enough... and amazing sensitive souls. Transformation occurs when the frightened lost kitten can look in the mirror and finally realize he/she is a lion... strong... confident... capable... believing that anything is possible!

Happy New Year!

It's January 2013, and a great start for a new year. I just finished the major draft of 'Love, Life, and God: Getting Past the Pain'. I found a website with online Pain Management -- http://pain.goalistics.com. Someone I know showed me an article in January's Reader's Digest about a gadget she invented which was instrumental in the miraculous recovery of her daughter --http://neurolumen.com. Maybe it can help me, too.

The Annual Local Author's Fest is coming up on the 19th at our library. When I stopped by there earlier this week, I saw that 15 authors will be there this year (including me) and all our books are on display as you walk in the door. As I walked over to the counter to ask a question, a bright PINK book with yellow letters caught my attention: 'Younger Next Year for Women' by Chris Crowley & Henry S. Lodge, M.D. which was exactly the book I needed to read. 

After I got my DexaScan, the doctor's office called me and told me I needed to go see an Oncologist to get Prolia Injections. I had panicked. Why did I have to go see an Oncologist? A CANCER doctor? Two days later, I found out that this doctor was the only one approved by Medicare and other types of insurance to get these injections, WHICH WERE FOR OSTEOPOROSIS and that I didn't have cancer. But I was also filled with fear about what my future would be like if my bones don't hold up. 

But this pink book I found has the answer. The title is 'Younger NEXT Year' because you are supposed to start exercising, both weight lifting and aerobics, slowly and gradually, working your way up... that weight lifting was the only thing that would strengthen your bones and keep them from decaying. I had always done too much too fast, then quit, because I was in too much pain. This PINK book says we all have to get old, but we don't have to ROT. And it is not just another FAD diet with expensive supplements that most of us cannot afford. And on the aerobics end, you just had to get your heart rate up to a specific point, which I do just prancing around my apartment while reading books and talking on my cell phone.

And are you a Facebook addict? I am. I have 'liked' so many pages that it takes hours every day to go through them all. It keeps me busy when I have little else to do. I tore myself away for awhile to finish writing my book (Love, Life, & God), allowing just 30 minutes a day to jump in, check on my son, pregnant daughter-in-law and a couple of other people, and jump out. I finished the book about the 1st of January (didn't win the non-fiction contest, but I am fine with that--I had more to add to it). 

While I was waiting for the proof to come in the mail, I dove into Facebook to organize all my 'liked' pages after I organized all the emails I got into folders because I don't have time to read them all now. A lot of them are newsletters of all sorts I've subscribed to. I'm a fanatic about being organized. I figured out that you can organize all your 'liked' pages into file folders called 'interests.' While I was doing this, I saw the little word 'group' below my interest list. I am just a poor girl trying to get by on a not so big fixed income (for now), so finding out I could create a group in my free Facebook page is a big deal for me. I wanted to create a 'Pain Support Group' of people I know locally and from Facebook who deal with chronic discouraging pain, like I do. We don't have a Pain Support Group in my area so I wanted to form one. If you are on Facebook and you want to be included in this group, let me know!

I am feeling incredibly inspired and motivated! This is what gets me through a day with a hard to live in body. I feel encouraged about knowing that back in February, I could not walk very far or very fast. I feel encouraged at how much stronger I've become by doing my therapy ball exercises consistently. I've succeeded in shifting my way of thinking from 'I can't do it' to 'I can' -- to learn how to train like an athlete (on a much smaller scale). Having my own place has cured so many things: giving me the space to exercise and do/organize all the projects I managed to start. Hope I can keep up the pace!!!!