Wednesday, August 8, 2018
While I laid in bed doing Word Puzzles, I began to have a conversation with myself about the pain in my body and all the emotions it stirred up. I got interesting responses. (Do you ever talk to yourself?)
Years ago when I was sick, I felt isolated and unwanted. There was no Facebook back then to get connected with the outside world.
While having this conversation with myself, I realized I was empathizing with the virus itself. I DIDN'T WANT IT. A lot of my frustration was because of this. GO AWAY!
Upon further research, I learned that viruses and bacteria have energetic vibrations with emotions.
Viruses have the energy of unworthiness.
In my much younger years when I contracted the virus (Mono/Epstein Barr), I had low self-worth. I found it interesting that I made this connection.
I also recently began trying a new meditation which puts me right to sleep at night... most of the time.
I keep hearing/reading that we need to go inside our bodies and pay attention to all its signals. I already know I spend too much time in my mind. (Meanwhile, I am reading A New Earth).
I 'climb' inside and visualize a Universe of cells floating in empty space, intelligently and intuitively knowing exactly what to do. It's pretty amazing to see billions of cells compared to a solid body and comprehend how amazing you are... regardless of chronic illness and/or pain.
I then pay attention to a pain spot (one of many techniques I learned) -- what color, shape, etc. is it?
Before I can complete the process, a new pain in a different body part makes itself known. What began in the hip, is now in the foot, etc.
Thus, I learned something new. Well, maybe not so new. I've read it and heard it said numerous times. Pain is energy and moves around. Pain is moving around in my body where before it seemed to be in one place.
This pain that is moving around in my body... this energy... what exactly is it? If I can manage to focus on it long enough... instead of falling into sleep... will I be able to see it?
It is still challenging for me to comprehend my body as ENERGY and empty space... but then I look out into the sky and photos/videos of stars, planets, Universes, black holes... we, too, are star stuff.