Monday, May 18, 2015

Coincidences and Serendipities

Saturday, I met a man who has been on a similar journey as I have been.. a journey of overcoming numerous life challenges and learning to love and accept ourselves completely. 

We were talking about soul contracts and how we make agreements with other souls before we are born to be the characters in a spiritual 'play' for the purpose of soul evolution. I had read about this, and began to relate this concept with a personal experience which I told him about. 

My father had been a hot-tempered, foul mouthed, person who was emotionally distant, except for when he was displaying his bad temper. We (my siblings, me, & my mother) avoided him as much as we could. 

When I was 40, (he was about 70), I was on an airplane (I rarely fly) & I felt a weird sensation like something was being ripped out of me. I yanked 'it' back. After I landed, I called home & learned that my father had gone into cardiac arrest in the ambulance that was transporting him to the hospital and was resuscitated. I couldn't help wonder... did my yanking back have anything to do with him coming back?

Dad was at his chiropractor's complaining about pain in his arm & shoulder... and the doctor called 911. He had a stint put in, and lived for another 14 years. 

I wanted to know what had happened when I had that experience on the plane, and learned about being tied together with 'soul strings'. If my father & I were connected in that way, I wanted to know the hows & whys. 

I was the 1st in my family to start talking to him about his life and asking him questions to find out who this man was that I was 'connected' to. I found out about how abusive his father was & that my father didn't know how else to be. At that time, he told me "if you want me to say I'm sorry, I am". 

Around this time, one of my nephews was diagnosed with Aspergers & we were told it ran in families... we realized Dad must have had this, too, which included the inability to control out-bursts. 

In August 2008, I was 1500 miles away, talking on the phone with someone, when I suddenly felt the atmosphere in the room change. I FELT like I was being hugged, and then I FELT the words I love you. Then I was shown a vision of green rolling hills. Then it all disappeared. I told the person I was talking to on the phone that I would call them back & called back 'home'. 

I had known that my father had a stroke the week before & was in the hospital with a feeding tube, unresponsive. At the exact time I felt what I felt, he had died. 

Back to my conversation with the man I was talking to about soul contracts. He had been telling me that we agree to have certain experiences before we are born for our soul's evolution. Once we get this, we can let go of all the other people in our life who contributed to our growth and move on. They won't necessarily 'get this' and continue to be the way they have always been. 

I have been noticing moments of synchronicity more and more often these days. 

I also just learned about Dr. Len's work with Hooponopono. He went into a prison and repeated "I am sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, Thank you" for each of the prisoners. They transformed. I am doing this now on the people who have hurt me in the past. I have begun to do this too... especially for the men I used to be in relationships with.

In relationships, we attract a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. I told this man I was talking to on Saturday (he is in the process of becoming a relationship coach) how I finally learned to let go of my stories about the rapes, molestation, and abuse, after seeing that they were perhaps unconsciously agreeing to treat me the way they did because of how I felt about myself. The man validated my comment and congratulated me on realizing this. 

When we learn that we are completely OK and worthy of the highest forms of love, our world changes. Peace.

Please comment on any personal experience you have had that relates to what I have written.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015


Life is a journey, not a destination. My personal journey has been about self-discovery and I titled my first memoir, "Appearances: A Journey of Self-Discovery". I titled the sequel, "Love, Life, & God: Getting Past the Pain".

For the last year, I've been listening to a number of personal development seminars, book marketing seminars, and relationship seminars. The common denominator seems to be the necessity of developing self-confidence and self-esteem, areas I've struggled with for most of my life. In the area of relationships, I really wanted to identify the core blocks I knew were still lingering in my subconscious... and the only way to do this was to face them.

Many of my past relationships were abusive ones, and according to Law of Attraction, we attract to us a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. While I have been making strides in self-confidence with exercising, friendships, writing, and music, I became aware that I still was doing some self-loathing for allowing situations with some of the men I've been with to happen, which included rape and molestation. I knew self-loathing had to go, but how?

In listening to about half a dozen dating coaches talk about the issues many women face (and men, too), I kept asking myself, why did I allow those things to happen? 

I contemplated whether energetically, if I disliked myself that much, perhaps the men were doing what they felt they were supposed to do, which was treat me like crap because I believed I was crap. And I couldn't help wonder if I would have been treated the same way had I loved and accepted myself, physical challenges and all. 

I had agreed to doing things I didn't want to do out of the fear of being rejected. I let the resulting injuries linger for way too many years... and emotional baggage gets stored in your muscles. I swallowed a lot of pills to cope with pain in my muscles that I didn't realize were non-physical energetic emotional memories. 

Several years ago, I discovered EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). I did a 20 minute tapping sequence with Carol Tuttle to work through the symtoms of fibromyalgia relating to the car accident I was in when I was 21. A boy I was in love with had just broken up with me and I was devastated. When I was driving home, the fatique of the event along with CFS (after a bout of mono) resulted in my dozing at the wheel and I woke up just in time to see the car I was about to crash into.

In the EFT exercise, I tapped through all the emotions I was experiencing at the time of the car accident which released some of the emotional memory from my muscles. I definitely felt the difference. 

However, I couldn't find any EFT sequences for the other traumatic experiences... and so they lingered... until recently, when one of my sisters told me about Robert Smith's work with people who had been traumatized using a method called Faster EFT (Emotionally Focused Transformations). There are a number of YouTube videos demonstrating how Robert works with people on a variety of topics, including PTSD and rape. I copied the following paragraph from the FasterEFT website:

"FasterEFT is a methodology developed by Robert G. Smith after many years of studying and working with thousands of people. It is a collection of new cutting-edge techniques and processes that integrates the most effective elements of EFT, BSFF, NLP, spiritual understanding, science and the mind’s great ability to transform itself. One of the greatest aspects in FasterEFT is that it is fast, direct and to the point. It has a healthy and logical belief system that is easily accepted. With this great mix of understandings, FasterEFT can quickly transform how you represent your past, shift your emotional disruptions and restore your physical health."

In the meantime, I've been writing Fairy Tales. The most recent one is titled, "Twin Flame". I often experience the magic of spirit (God) talking to me through my fingers while they type on the keyboard. In this tale, an elder tells a soul who is in "heaven", that humans have to live certain life cycles to become mature souls, and we make contracts with other souls before we are born to work out relationship issues. 

And so I wondered... perhaps I had made contracts with the men who had hurt me and they were only doing what I had previously agreed to do. It's definitely time for me to let the pain of the past go and move on to new experiences.