Monday, March 7, 2011
I am choosing, for now, to live without medication. I have come a very long way in recovering from being sedated for (15?) years, and now I have trouble going to sleep due to pain, discomfort, and a racing mind (no more drugs to sedate me). If I do succeed in falling asleep, my bladder wakes me up and once up, my mind goes off to the races again (a symptom of withdrawal from anti-depressants).
One night recently, I thought about Genesis and how we were created from dust. I thought about what it would have been like for God to breathe life into me and felt my lungs fill with air. Each time I exhaled I released tension in my body. I felt really peaceful doing this and slipped right into sleep. Then I took it a step further. I inhaled the strength of God and exhaled weakness, inhaled the unlimited power of God and exhaled helplessness, and I inhaled health and exhaled illness. If my mind is going to be filled with thoughts, better it be these. I eventually fell asleep.