Indeed, I've gained a lot more courage in the last year than I had in years past. As I learn new skills and further my education, the value I feel in what I can contribute to society seems to outweigh the uselessness I used to feel because my body hurt too much to do anything.
I envision a time in my future where I manage and pay other people to do the tasks I want to see accomplished while I focus on taking care of my body.
There's a bridge I have to cross, and I don't know how this will happen. But I KNOW there IS a bridge and where there's a bridge, there must be a way!
Where I fluctuate the most is with Fibromyalgia and Tendonitis. No one seems to know what causes it, and the drugs being prescribed to manage it have nasty side effects. (I used to take them.)
My father said he had 'Rheumatism.'
When I lived in Bakersfield, California (12 years ago) I had a Pain Management doctor who wouldn't prescribe drugs. He prescribed a TENS unit and Liderderm patches. Medicare paid for these patches--30 in a box--almost $400 a box. Then about two years ago, they notified me they could only be prescribed for shingles, not for back pain.
While many life saving drugs are skyrocketing in price, yesterday I heard good news. I told someone that I used Salonpas patches on my arm and shoulder for pain, and she proceeded to tell me Salonpas has Liderderm patches--over the counter--$10 a box.
For real? She gave me one of the patches in the package and I took it home to compare it to the few I still have left. Prescription--5% Liderderm. Salonpas 4%. Nice!
Back to courage. I am 'courageously' stepping forward in life without all the pharmaceutical drugs I used to take to cope with the condition. All I have to do is STOP, REST, and MEDITATE--and in meditation, have conversations with my body--which I often resist. Easier to recommend it to others than it is to practice it.
The Universe has provided me with the means to get Chinese Medicinal Tea, weekly classes about Essential Oils, & Theta Healing and although the relief isn't instant, I know my body needs time to regenerate.
The tea is supposed to be helping with pain, but it isn't. However, the formula also balances hormones which I know I need as well.
I purchased an Ultrasonic diffuser from Amazon to diffuse my new doTERRA oils with, and I love it! (Especially after I cook a huge piece of Wild Caught Salmon and the apartment reeks of fish.)
It also takes a lot of courage to continue exercising through the discomfort. I trudge on.
The key to my 'survival' is to keep reminding myself and redirecting my thoughts to TODAY vs. allow them to run amuck with the fears of what the future will be like with this condition. After all, in all the years I've been dealing with it, it hasn't gotten any worse.
The same old pain in the same old places fluctuates between achy and OUCH! At least I haven't gotten 'sick.'
If Elon Musk can put rockets on Mars, and there are cures for Cancer that don't include chemo and radiation, and I saw a video of an artificial disk being implanted between two vertebrae similar to how they put in artificial hips, shoulders, & knees, which don't include screws in your fragile vertibrae, I have faith that relief from FMS, etc. is just around the corner as well!
One of my current thought patterns is... if today was my last day on Earth (and I'm going to Mars vs. dying although I'm not afraid of dying)... will what I'm doing matter?
One by one, I am leaving behind what my intuition says won't. Are you?