Sunday, December 24, 2017

Joy in the Senses

One morning last month, I woke up feeling a bit blue. It sure would have been nice to know what I had been dreaming about to give me a clue. But then a thought popped into my head--to use my senses--see, smell, hear, taste, and touch. First I just lay there and visualized a number of things in each category. Then as I thought of more, I got the paper out to write them down.

What have I seen that brought me joy?

Rainbows. The day everything turns green in Spring. The sight of green rolling hills when I am driving. Adorable animals like kittens playing, monkeys frolicking, and squirrels jumping from one tree to the next. Beautiful dances. Photos and videos of my precious granddaughter and my friends' children. Great movies. Exquisite art. The joy on a person's face after I've published their first book. Seeing beautiful images emerge from photos I've taken.

What have I smelled that brought me joy?

Essential oils like Citrus Bliss. The air just after it has rained. Something yummy cooking. The scent of flowers and Rosemary bushes.

What have I heard that brought me joy?

The sound of children's laughter. The voice of my loved ones when they call. Meows from kittens.  Compliments on work I've done. Amazing music. Inspirational/motivational speeches.

What have I tasted that brought me joy?

Delicious food! Dark chocolate, ginger tea, honey, black-strap molasses and chopped pecans on top of Vanilla Bean Coconut Milk Ice Cream, Chocolate Chip Cookies. Anything with Sea Salt on it.

What have I touched that brought me joy?

A soft kitten or puppy. Soft blankets.

In addition to the 5 senses, I added another one:

What have I felt that brought me joy?

Warm showers. Satisfaction of accomplishing and completing sometimes challenging projects. Raising money for a local TNR Non-Profit from the Earrings I made. The sensation of being on a boat that is being rocked by the waves. Knowing I have the skills to efficiently complete tasks others can't do on their own. The completion of a writing project. The excitement when I get a newly published book in the mail. Reading someone else's amazing book. Receiving unexpected gifts. Knowing that my past experiences have given me the wisdom to help another up when they fall--that I can make a difference. Deep meaningful connections and conversations. The increase in confidence I've been acquiring. Pride for the amazing son I raised who is now an amazing father. Synchronicity. Gratitude.

It didn't take me very long to lift up my mood that morning. I then created the above official list to include in my first-aid kit in case I fall into a blue mood again, which happens every so often.

I highly recommend that you make a similar list for yourself. Hopefully, you will remember where you put it! I originally wrote out a list on the piece of paper I mentioned in the beginning of the post, but I couldn't find it to write this blog post so I had to recreate it.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Holiday Stress

It's that special time of year when many celebrations are taking place internationally across many cultures. Here are some of them:
  • Saint Nicholas Day (Christian)
  • Fiesta of Our Lady of Guadalupe (Mexican)
  • St. Lucia Day (Swedish)
  • Hanukkah (Jewish)
  • Christmas Day (Christian)
  • Three Kings Day/Epiphany (Christian)
  • Kwanzaa (African American)
  • Omisoka (Japanese)
  • Yule (Pagan)
  • Saturnalia (Pagan)
It is also that time of year when many people are depressed and lonely. I used to be one of these people so I know. While all the happy celebrations were going on around me with family gatherings and parties, I withdrew. People could tell I was withdrawn so I wasn't invited to very many events. At least I didn't have the obligations of cooking for a family or hosting a gathering where I'd have to choose between acting happy or expressing how I was really feeling.

For those who have lost one or more loved ones, a pet, a job, suffering financial hardship or homelessness, a relationship breakup, it is indeed a time of loneliness. Their loved one(s) and/or their safety net is no longer there. I feel for all the loss from recent hurricane devastation as well as close friends who have lost a husband, a grandchild, a mother, a pet.

For some, it is obvious just by looking at them. You can see the emptiness in their eyes and in their physical demeanor even if they smile. For others, they've become really good actors--something they don't give themselves credit for.

One of many definitions of stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.

The stress response can be felt whether you are experiencing excitement or its opposite.

Perhaps you are one of the people who feel you must perform your duties as a wife, mother, father, brother, sister, friend, or business owner even if it overrides your need to say no. You never do give yourself permission to say no or to ask for help so you burn yourself out.

Excitement can burn you out as well. Too much can strain your Adrenals and the result is Adrenal Fatigue which has numerous consequences.

In your efforts to prepare, decorate, cook, plan, and visit, sometimes partying until the wee hours of the morning, many are sleep deprived. The consequences of sleep deprivation are vast.

Add to the above all the sugar that you eat because somehow traditions of all kinds include a LOT of sugar! Sugar puts a strain on your immune system in addition to all of the above.

Memory doesn't work well when you are under stress which is why in an emergency you can't remember what to do. Some call this brain fog or a senior moment.

While you all are celebrating family and religious traditions, remember to smile at all the lonely people and offer them a gift of time and perhaps a long warm hug.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

The Adrenaline Connection

Many years ago, while dealing with the aftermath of mono, systemic candida which I developed from numerous doses of antibiotics, and food sensitivities, my adrenals wouldn't function properly. But because they hadn't completely failed, there was nothing the endocrinologist I went to could do.

I remember the day I slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting a cyclist who dashed out in front of my car. I was at the stop light which had turned green, but the young cyclist hoped to make it across before I began to accelerate. The adrenaline rush that came on didn't stop like it was supposed to—I began to feel warm, then hot, then sweaty, then disoriented—a very strange sensation.

Fast forward to the last few years. I joined Toastmasters to develop self-confidence and speaking skills. Each time I went up there to speak, I had the adrenaline rushes. After a while, they stopped being so bad, but I experienced some strange after effects.

One time after I sat down, I felt fireworks of sharp stabbing pains all through my body. I took some slow deep breaths while I waited it out, telling myself I was OK. But in the back of my mind, I was very concerned. I didn’t collapse from a heart attack and the pains subsided. What on earth happened?

Another time after I sat down, I experienced an immediate lower back spasm. I wondered if all the back spasms I had experienced over my lifetime—and all the Fibromyalgia pain—was due to adrenaline issues—a symptom of a chaotic life where I was more often than not reacting to daily circumstances in fight or flight mode.

Then one day about a month ago, after a Toastmasters meeting, a career military man in my club sat down across from me while he waited for his wife who was mentoring a new member. I can't remember how the conversation began, but it led to the subject of adrenaline. He promptly told me about adrenaline rush letdown, a term I had never heard of before but common among those who serve in the military.

The symptoms I described to this man, which included the fireworks of sharp pains and the back spasms were only two common symptoms. There are others, like feelings of depression. The adrenaline junkies—skydivers, bungee jumpers, race car drivers, motorcycle riders, and more deal with them on a regular basis.

Fast forward again to the end of November when I finally had an appointment with Bri Linney, who practices BioEnergetic Nutrition. I’ve done lots of research, reading, and listening to health summits and brought in several pages of notes which included summaries of my current health challenges and my hypothesis about them. I even brought in all the supplements I am in possession of. She asked me how I think she could help me. I replied something of the line of hoping she can pinpoint what my body is asking for nutritionally.

This was definitely a visit I wish I recorded!!!!

You get a whole hour for your first visit. Bri provided a wealth of education on how my system operates in terms I could understand, including the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. She is skilled in knowing what the body wants just by touching it. I only remember three main points which are related to the adrenal issues.

1) Bri paused her exam as she touched my lower abdomen and asked apologetically if I had been sexually molested or assaulted. I am no longer reactive to the memories and answered yes. Afterall, other healers could pick up on this too when they touched my abdomen. She had explained to me different categories of health issues which included virus people. Most virus people have been sexually molested and or assaulted. The first occurrence was when I was 17. I came down with mono when I was 18 (or just before) and dealt with viral issues ever since—as well as repeated instances of sexual molestation and assault, which Bri also said is common. Another mystery solved. I was aware that most people who have Fibromyalgia were abused as children; I was not aware of this other connection. As I’ve done self-improvement on emotional trauma, my overall health has improved. This can explain why I haven’t been sick as much as I used to be even though the ‘energies’ are still lingering in my body.

2) After touching every organ and gland and parts of my brain, Bri explained to me that when you get a concussion, which I did when I was 21, your pituitary gland which seats at the center of the brain gets knocked around—and if I am repeating the facts accurately, the pituitary gland controls everything, including the hypothalamus. She concluded the reason for the chronic sore throats and difficulty swallowing is due to the right parathyroid and thyroid being inflamed which is all controlled by the hypothalamus. The adrenals are, too. This is another reason why I love energy medicine. This stuff doesn’t show up in blood tests.

3) I wanted to wean off Mirtazapine, the generic to Remeron. I’ve tried twice unsuccessfully and hoped she could assist me with it. Bri explained to me that it is helping the part of my brain that is not functioning like it should be and advised me to stay on it until I can get that part to improve.

I walked away with two homeopathic remedies for both hypothalamus and inflammation. I have complete faith in homeopathic remedies from years ago when I got one for my son who had severe cat allergies. Each day we visited my Mom who had a cat, his eyes would swell shut. When I discovered the BioAllers drops and gave it to him, it not only helped after the onset of a reaction but over time his immune system adjusted and he no longer had these reactions. I vaguely remember using another formula for an allergy I was dealing with as well.

Bri had also tested all the supplements I brought with me and determined how many of what I should take over the next month. I felt validated that I was on the right track—she suggested increasing the CBD Oil and Copaiba Oil, decreasing many of the other supplements, and increasing Vitamin C Complex (including putting it on topically with citrus oils). I return in one month.

Layer by layer, as years go by, I uncover additional mysteries to healing my miraculous human body. Our bodies truly are miraculous you know—born with innate intelligence—and the more you learn about it and the more you really get this, you increase your ability to recover from whatever you have been dealing with.

I acknowledge and appreciate everything my body does from digestion to excretion to circulation to moving. Have you tried this?

As for moving, even on a bad day, I do my series of exercises and marvel that I am still able to do them, focusing on each body part as they move through each exercise. Yes, there are parts that aren’t functioning efficiently, but have you tried focusing on all the parts that do?

To get an appointment with Bri Linney and learn more about what she does go to:

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Reminiscing & Gratitude

Wishing everyone a beautiful Thanksgiving!

This post is the final chapter of my first book and a good topic for a post today. It's Thanksgiving and I am reminiscing about how grateful I am that I learned how to view all experiences as tools for growth and as contrast. For instance, the water being shut off for repairs reminded me of all the times I didn't have running water and how grateful I am of having it now, even if it is shut off for what turned out to be only 30 minutes. I've come a long way since I wrote this book in 1996 besides being 21 years older. Just like the previous post on The Broken Branch, I choose to focus on all I am grateful for today, which includes all of my readers. At the time I wrote this book, I had just lost the place I called home, a marriage that didn't work, and employment. In this space I had to choose--to dwell in all that I had lost or in all the pleasant memories. It did indeed shift my vibration and life grew around me again... which would happen numerous more times between then and now. 


I’ve been dwelling in thoughts of mourning too long, mourning for everything in my life that I have lost and never had.

Today, I asked Spirit, is there an opposite to mourning for what I’ve lost? There must be something else - this place hurts too much! There must be something different than gratitude! Being grateful for what I have is not touching me where I need to be touched!

“Yes,” the answer came. “Climb into the essence of your most wonderful memories.” Be grateful for the opportunity to have the experiences that now dwell in your memory.... but do not dwell on what is lost - climb into the joy of your most cherished memories.

So I began to collect my most treasured memories one by one and climb into them for a while. Within a few days, my spirits began to lift up from the depression I had been drowning in.

I collected memories of doing special things with my father. I felt special when we walked hand in hand along the seashore. I felt grown up when he took me to work with him during school vacations and taught me how to do some of the work he did. I felt the sense of adventure when he took me to the outdoor market in downtown Boston during the summer to buy fresh fruits and vegetables. He also took me to the auto show where I saw all kinds of creations other than the autos I’d seen on the streets. I felt a sense of awe when he took me for walks to see all the Christmas store displays. I felt exhilarated when he taught me to drive in his Volvo. There is no room for both feelings of rejection and the joy of these memories. So now I must choose, if even for today, to be in the joy of memories.

Gratitude implies being in the present. If there is one thing I can be grateful for right now are all the cherished memories I have collected from the past. I can mourn and cry for what I lost and never had, but maybe just for today, I can go back in time and feel what I felt then. After all, what else are memories for?

All my memories are weaved together as intricately as a spider’s web - connected to each other with every emotion I’ve ever felt. I was given free will to choose - which includes choosing what part of that web I spend my time in. I can choose to drown in sorrow or I can choose to immerse myself in joy.

Old habits are stubborn. It seems like most of us are naturals at drowning in muck - but you can’t be both places at the same time.....I can sift through the memories like I would sift through a pile of sand and find the treasures in all my past experiences. Or I can choose anger and tears by focusing on the part that hurts.

I can choose to be hurt and angry at every boy (including the ones that lived in grown men) that used me and hurt me - or swoon in the memories of each “fatal attraction.” I could mourn the loss of my dreams to be happily married, have a house and raise children - or be in the joy of how free I felt when I was on my own again.

I can mourn and cry for each love that I lost - or be in the bliss of every memory they gave me. I can imagine a new love and be in the bliss as if it already is. I can imagine someone climbing inside my soul, wrapping his arms around me, and feeling completely safe and secure in his embrace.

And Jesse. Do I dwell on the mess he constantly makes? Or do I bless the trail of his existence? Without him, there would be no mess. Do I dwell on the annoying noises he makes or the fact that he watches too much TV and listens to “awful” music? If I had to choose between having him in my life with the mess, the noises, the music and the TV, or his never having been here at all....I’d bless the mess. I’d bless the noise. This is who and what he is and I bless his existence in my life! Do I dwell on the fact that he’s a teenager and no longer wants to be home....or be happy I’ve done a good job raising a child who believes in himself enough to do this?

I immerse myself in college, homework, motherhood, reading, photography, music, research, writing, walking, healing, and memories. Do I stay sad and mourn all that I’ve lost and never had or do I climb inside the joy of the memories?

Today, I’ll immerse myself in memories, and be grateful for every single one.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

The Broken Branch

The Broken Branch
Once a month, the Central Texas Writer's Society meets at the Copperas Cove Library. We receive prompts to inspire creative writing... and so my creative writing has surged once again -- and here is the poem I recently wrote. We had a beautiful cool 70's day and I stepped out on my patio and once again got slightly irritated by the sight of the broken branch that is in the tree by my back patio. However, this time I wondered if there was a message for me here -- and it turned out there was.

The Broken Branch

You broke off last year
during a windy storm
but got caught in other branches
on the way down
never to hit the ground.
To the tree:

(To the tree)
Winter came and went
and with Spring
you grew more branches
and thousands of leaves
burst forth from your buds.

(To the branch)
Still, you linger.

(To the tree)
Summer has come and gone
and soon you will shed 
all your leaves
yet the broken branch will remain
to keep you company.

And so I ponder...
Past traumas seem like
broken branches.
Life always bursts forth
with new leaves
every season.
The broken branches
always remain.

I caught myself staring
at the broken branch
instead of the overall beauty
of the tree that you are.
I also caught myself staring
at the broken branches
of my past traumas
discounting the beauty
that is the rest of me.

FYI: I put a sticking note up on my bathroom mirror which says: Quit looking at the broken branch. 

I know you can relate... how many times you've looked in the mirror and zoned in on the hairs that are not in place, the blemish on your skin, the darkness under your eyes, the crease or wrinkle. Can you imagine how much better you could feel if you stopped focusing on the broken branch of you and appreciated the entire tree?

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Chinese Fable and Life Lesson

The following fable was on my mind this morning because I had a strange dream. When I doze off again early morning, I tend to remember dreams, especially when something like the phone ringing wakes me up. Most of them are a mix-mash and don't make sense to me. This one did.

Also Friday night I gave a young man a ride to and from an event -- a man with a lot of wisdom for his years. In one of our many conversations, I told him I didn't know why I had to experience all the crap I'd been through -- but life is good now. I also said I'm 61 and if I live another 30 years there is still time to become a teacher/mentor to many people. He encouraged me to go for it!

In the dream, a friend of mine and I go to see a female psychic with blond hair below her shoulders. The woman tells my friend she has water retention and then, harshly, "GET OVER YOUR STUFF! There are a LOT of people waiting for you to help them." My friend begins to cry and the psychic holds her for a long hug. She was still holding her when my phone rang and I woke up. My friend has been experiencing one bad event after another. She is stressed out and worn down. I've been there.

I know the message in the dream is for me as well. And this morning it came in clear -- and I hope I remember -- that experiences are neither good or bad. Just experiences. Learn to be an observer and don't get caught up in the drama. 

I tried to tell myself this yesterday after I returned to my local grocery store for the third time to get one of their Natural rotisserie chickens (no antibiotics or hormones) and was told, "I'm sorry, we don't have any." 

That first day, I asked specifically for them to write down what time they would be ready so I could go down and get one when they were first put out. To compensate for the inconvenience, I was given a coupon for a free one -- worth almost $10. I made a mental note to add this to my Gratitude & Miracles journal. 

The next day I returned at one of those times and was told they didn't have any. And the times I had been given were not correct and I had them write down the times that were.

The third day, yesterday, I lost my cool. I returned on one of those designated times to be told they didn't have any. I was told I should have come earlier. I had to ask them to call me when they had one ready as this option was not previously offered.

I hadn't experienced that level of anger in a very long time. I searched through the crevices of my memories for something that would put out my emotional surge. Logically, I knew that instead of thinking how rude they were and how bad the customer service was, to dig up compassion -- I bet they just had a bad day, too. Afterall, we just experienced Hurricane Harvey. And my friend is going through a lot worse right now.

This morning, I had that dream -- with that profound message.

Thus, this morning, I Googled the Chinese fable that had been on my mind -- and I had seen many times -- and was instrumental in me learning how to see life differently.

A farmer had only one horse. One day, his horse ran away. His neighbors said, “I’m so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

A few days later, his horse came back with twenty wild horses following. The man and his son corralled all 21 horses. His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

One of the wild horses kicked the man’s only son, breaking both his legs. His neighbors said, “I’m so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

The country went to war, and every able-bodied young man was drafted to fight. The war was terrible and killed every young man, but the farmer’s son was spared since his broken legs prevented him from being drafted. His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

I hope this post will encourage you as well. Stuff happens -- good and bad -- learn to be an observer and don’t get caught up in the drama. By having these experiences, and learning how to resolve them, we become mentors to others, learn to be resilient, and develop maturity. Then we become other people's teachers.

This is also an example of synchronicity -- when seemingly unrelated events -- if you keep track of them -- turn out to be related afterall!

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Health Education Continued

Curiosity is one of my attributes. Comprehension is not--unless I listen to something multiple times or read it just as many. It seems certain pieces of info stick to my memory cells when other pieces evaporate into thin air.

The information I am about to share is new to me based on what I can remember learning in the past. I've been reminded that Fibro Fog is a symptom of Fibromyalgia which I sometimes prefer to forget I deal with, especially during times when I experience a lot of energy! I've been experiencing a major energy dive and with the dive of energy came an increase in physical discomfort. Nevertheless, I am intrigued with the synchronicities that have been showing up in the way of books, magazines, internet articles, and Facebook posts.

I received the September issue of Pain-Free Living Magazine. Inside are three articles, all of which are relevant to me--and maybe to you as well.

1) Putting the Pieces Back Together: Trauma is often a source of chronic pain. Here are eight ways to deal with it. 

I've been very aware for some time that multiple traumas, beginning in childhood, are known to contribute to chronic pain. We have amazing brains that are wired to protect us in three ways: Fight, Flight, or Freeze.

"In the wild, animals are exposed to trauma almost every day, threatened by predators and competitors. Yet they don't develop PTSD because they have inborn ways to release the trauma when the threat has passed. They shake, they tremble, they run around, they yowl, and they rest. Then they can go on with their lives. Humans have forgotten or suppressed those instincts, but we also face potential trauma throughout our lives."

Trauma includes war, accidents, assaults, sexual assault, sports injuries, car accidents, abuse during childhood, surgery and invasive medical procedures, parental divorce, and loss of a job (self, spouse, or parent). Then there are more complex traumas such as a difficult delivery at birth and intergenerational trauma which you inherited vs. something that has actually happened to you.

"Pain itself can become traumatic. It can seem out of our control; we may try many things without relief. It can cause fear, anger, and grief, but we can't take effective action."

"Trauma creates permanently high-stress levels. The body feels constantly threatened until the trauma is released, always ready to fight, flee or freeze. This stressed state makes pain more intense."

We get stuck in pain because we haven't released the trauma that caused it.

I've done quite a bit of work on myself to identify the many traumas my body has stored in muscle and cellular memory. The process is never done. Each time I have a 'flare-up', even if it is days on out of relentless fatigue without an increase in pain, I now know to stop (which isn't really a choice) and process whether I am just experiencing a bought of fatigue or whether I've been 'triggered' and my body is responding to what my brain is telling it to do--FREEZE. 

Of the many suggested treatments in this article, I've used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), mindfulness meditation, psychotherapy (on myself with the help of Dr. David Burn's book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy), and antidepressants. Somatic Experiencing is also suggested which teaches a process that brings you back to your body as a safe place where you can defend yourself. I haven't done this SE therapy, but I have been learning about Somatics in a different way.

In Edward Barrera's book Move Like An Animal, there is also an explanation of how trauma affects our bodies and our brains as humans vs. animals as mentioned above. I've been learning about somatic exercises--as the traumas result in sensory motor amnesia. The good news is there is a series of exercises one can do to retrain the brain to become aware of what it is supposed to do. I also purchased Thomas Hanna's book on Somatics, but Ed's book is much easier to understand and follow.

2) A complex Web: Fibromyalgia is difficult to diagnose, but a variety of treatments can ease the pain

This article reviews Fibromyalgia symptoms and possible causes as well as different approaches to treatment. Among alternative therapies are meditation and sound as studies have found that music and low-frequency sounds can reduce the pain experienced by patients. Sound has helped me quite a bit and I have saved a bunch of YouTube videos on one of my Pinterest pages to listen to. In the final paragraph are these words of wisdom: 

"Don't be hard on yourself. Rest when you need to, and don't be too sad when you find that 'friends' fall by the wayside. The important people in your life will still be there for you through it all. Lastly, you are not alone. Facebook is amazing for support groups. Hang in there."

Indeed, Facebook has quite a few support groups. In addition to mine (Lampasas Pain Support Group), I've found the following:

Dr. Joe Tatta (I read his book.)

Plus some others.

3) Breaking the Cycle of Pain: The founder of an integrative-medicine clinic explains why chronic pain should be treated as an inflammatory disease.

This article is an interview with Gary Kaplan, D.O., a clinical associate professor at Georgetown Univerisity in Washington, DC. Kaplan came to the conclusion that pain and depression are inflammatory diseases--in the brain.

"Chronic pain such as fibromyalgia, back pain, pain associated with osteoarthritis, daily headaches, and depression are not diseases but symptoms. these conditions are symptoms of inflammation of the brain."

"We have MRI studies and human and animal studies that show that we're looking at neuro-inflammatory disease of the central nervous system." -- central sensitization syndrome -- a mix of chronic pain and depression.

Right on!!!! This makes more sense to me than anything else I've read so far. 

Suggestions include:
  • eliminating foods that may be contributing to your brain being on fire.
  • meditation which is anti-inflammatory
  • get at least seven to eight hours of continuous sleep at night (so much for getting up to go pee)
  • get away from taking pills to fix things
  • read his book Total Recovery: A Revolutionary New Approach to Breaking the Cycle of Pain and Depression... a book I will add to my Amazon wish list.
Included in the article is a PAIN TEST -- a list of questions to ask yourself and talking to your doctor about the answers. The ones that apply to me are:
  • Is there anything you avoid now because of memories of a past trauma that you can't seem to shake? (often)
  • Have you been exposed to mold, toxins, or heavy metals? (all three)
  • Do you regularly encounter stressful situations such as being bullied? (not so regularly anymore but have dealt with this often in the past)
  • Have you suffered from difficult or emotionally abusive relationships? (many)
  • Do you struggle to get restful sleep? (often--between waking up to adjust my CPAP machine and to go pee)
  • Were you diagnosed with Lyme disease, Epstein-Barr virus, gluten intolerance, or Celiac disease? (EBV and gluten intolerance--refer to my next comments on grains)
  • Do you have a thyroid imbalance that may be caused by medications like opioids? (not sure, but unfortunately I took opioids for 12 years)
Kaplan concludes that meditation and exercise absolutely help regenerate the brain. Nutrition is important because the gut is the second brain.

Now for what I recently learned about grains.

I ordered the book No Grains, No Pain after listening to a talk by Dr. Peter Osborne. I heard that there are many types of gluten in ALL the grains... including ones I thought were safe like rice and oatmeal... that grains are seeds which have a substance designed by nature to protect them... and this substance is toxic to humans. So called gluten-free foods are only free of one type of gluten. You can listen to a podcast by him here: Gluten Free Diet Fails & Hidden Toxins in Gluten Free Foods

Two additional summits came my way: Beyond Pain Summit and Pain Treatments That Work 2.0. I haven't had a chance to listen to all the podcasts and interviews. Two stood out for me in the Beyond Pain Summit:

On day 3 of the Pain Treatments Summit, I heard a life changing interview with Shinzen Young on practical steps for transforming physical pain into spiritual growth. He provides instruction on how to use pain as a reminder to check into your body and learn to receive its messages through meditation. I felt encouraged that the pain in my body could have a deeper purpose and the act of daily meditation alone can be an instrument to transform the planet. I don't have to DO anything except lie still, breathe, and allow God/Spirit to become one with my body. Discipline. Maybe it's another opportunity to learn to be self-disciplined.

I was able to download the synopsis of his book and print it out: Natural Pain Relief. You can download it by clicking on the link below:

EMF's -- the wifi signals from your cell phone, router, tablet, laptop, etc. cause inflammation in the brain. Yikes! One of my sisters mailed me a little bag of rocks to put on top of my router which is supposed to reduce EMF's. There are gadgets you can put on your smartphone and tablet as well as gadgets to put under your feet or your laptop. All quite pricey. Maybe someday. I'm investing all my money into doTERRA Essential Oils, oil blends, and supplements right now.

Readers, all this education enables me to be my own advocate. I hope you can become your own advocate as well. While bouts of fatigue combined with pain force me to take time out from all I strive to achieve, triggering moments of feeling powerless, I also gain a sense of empowerment through knowledge. 

Last, but not least, the Universe has redirected me back to practicing Reiki -- on myself. First, I was sent a woman who wanted to know more about Reiki. I loaned her a book I had about it and she found it helpful. I have learned over the years acquiring attunements are not necessary to experience the healing energy that naturally flows through your hands. Many people now a-days are studying what Reiki is, the Chakras, and the hand positions to optimize this natural ability. Then after I finished reading one of many books I have, I picked up one I purchased several months ago: Intuitive Self-Healing: Achieve Balance and Wellness Through the Body's Energy Centers by Marie Manuchehri, RN. Marie is a nationally known energy intuitive and Reiki Master. This book is simple to follow with client examples and exercises you can do on your own.

Time. So elusive. Hours vanish before my eyes. 
Focus. Self-Discipline.
Move: Be still. Meditate. Move.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Emotions and Rocks

Image from Bing
Yesterday morning I was fortunate to be able to participate in a two-hour Emotions Mentor pilot class as an introduction to a three-day expanded one. Teresa needed to give two of these in order to get her certification. The grand finale was a guided meditation which I wish I could have recorded. I will attempt to recall as much as I can.

Closing your eyes, you imagine you are about to embark on a journey to the top of a mountain. However, the backpack you brought with you is filled with rocks. The road is long and the weight of the backpack drains your energy. 

You stop along the way, but only take one of the rocks out of the backpack before you continue on. It isn’t long before you are tired again from the weight of the backpack, once again choosing a rock to leave behind before you continue the journey.

This step is repeated multiple times.

Finally, you have let go of all the rocks you’ve brought with you and are able to climb to the top of the mountain.

Since I’ve been up in the mountains before, it was easy for me to imagine I was there.

What are these rocks? Subconscious beliefs about who you are, the conclusions you made during vulnerable moments when you were a child, and what you’re capable of accomplishing in life.

I knew some of the rocks I had let go of in previous years were my conclusions about the degrading words my father often spoke in our presence. I believed they were about me. I was worthless and unlovable. No matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough. 

I continued this pattern on in life attracting partners (and employers) I constantly strived to prove my worth to, resulting in perfectionism. I had to do everything I was asked to do and do it perfectly, putting my own needs last. I allowed circumstances to happen – no matter how uncomfortable – just for the sake of feeling I had value. My soul rebelled by manifesting illness and physical pain. It was my only perceived way out, even though the consequences were dire.

During this meditation, I discovered a new layer to my perceived subconscious money blocks. It helped that Teresa had shared how she had come to the conclusion that SHE wasn’t good enough when her mother said certain words. Yet, Teresa had carried the conclusion on into her adult life which ran as a background program in her subconscious mind. In her marriage, when she heard her husband say certain things, she lost her temper and walked out of the room. It turned out what her mother said meant something completely different and her husband didn’t mean what she made his words mean. Until she let go of her ROCKS, she was unable to become successful at what she does now. I greatly admired her transparency.

I’m in the meditation, walking the path, carrying rocks in my backpack, digesting the words Teresa had spoken when clarity began to surface.

Dad was the youngest child. He wanted to be as big and strong as his brothers. His older brothers did well in the world financially, while Dad didn’t. (Keep in mind Dad was challenged with Aspergers which he never figured out – we did after nephew Brett was diagnosed.) I often heard Dad talk about his brothers in derogatory ways regarding money and women. 

I had concluded based on these words that not only was it not OK to have money, it was not OK to be a WOMAN and have money, never mind be successful.

I have been looking up to the women who could get on a stage, earn thousands of dollars giving amazing speeches, putting them on pedestals, wishing I could get there, too. It’s why I joined Toastmasters. I’d be happy if I could even stand in front of a dozen people and speak. In Toastmasters, lots of women are getting on stages, doing workshops, and giving amazing speeches. Lots of women are highly sought after public speakers. 

YET, something – one or more rocks – continued to hold me back. I thought it was fear of losing the security of my disability benefits. Maybe this is still one of the rocks, but I think I discovered what the BIG one is  –  the subconscious belief that it is not OK for me to have lots of money or be successful.

I bought a bag of small flat shiny rocks yesterday afternoon for symbolism.

The meditation helped me realize which rocks I was still carrying.

What if I could leave behind the last of them? How far could I go?

What if YOU could leave behind the rocks you carry? How far could YOU go?

Note: Theta Belief Work, EFT, and Essential Oils are tools for letting go of rocks.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

The Little Pill

As I placed the tiny pill (Mirtazapine/Anti-Depressant) into my daily pill reminder, it finally sunk in how much power a tiny little pill has on the human body. (Animals, too.) One tiny Ativan or Valium can sedate you in the midst of an anxiety attack. One tiny pill can lower your blood pressure. How much power do you think the food you eat has? And the chemical additives and preservatives have? And the toxins in skin-care products and household cleaners?

I can appreciate the miraculous system of my body to process the food I eat and the fluids I drink, but I no longer want to give it more than it can handle – and create and maintain optimal health. By optimal, I mean the best I am capable of giving my body – to support its pre-existing conditions 
 with the hope it will continue to grow stronger.

In the meantime, since buying doTERRA Peppermint oil, I’ve had an insatiable appetite to inhale it and drink water with two drops in it. Two TINY drops. All day long, each time I refill my glass of water.

When I mentioned this to my ‘teacher,’ she responded, “Well, of course! Peppermint is anti-inflammatory! That makes perfect sense!”

At that moment, I realized that two tiny drops had been, indeed, reducing overall pain… a pleasant addition to getting more Oxygen during the night while I sleep with the CPAP. My other favorite right now is Past Tense. I roll some of this on the vertebrae of my neck and feel the warmth spread, while the scent of delicious oils permeates my senses.

And then there’s HOPE. I was intrigued, so I ordered a bottle. It smells wonderful! doTERRA created HOPE to give out to children who are being enslaved by sex trafficking, with the promise they would be rescued by the Healing Hands Foundation, which partners with Operation Underground Railroad. Did you even know there was one? They hand out bottles of HOPE to children they are seeking to rescue (it's a process) to let them know a rescue is planned. All profits from selling this oil to the rest of us benefits this Foundation as well. 

Knowing I am buying something ($20 a bottle) that makes this much difference in the lives of children, gives me HOPE for this world. doTERRA partners with indigenous people in other countries as well for plant farming in their natural habitat. While the plants are being attended by the farmers, doTERRA provides those who participate improved quality of living. I know when I buy the oils, I am also contributing to decent salaries (charities) all over the world vs. buying products that are produced by child labor for pennies.

Back to the tiny pill. I was one of many who were brainwashed to believe the pharma pills had all the power, along with the doctors who prescribed them. Back in 2010, I was taking 11 prescription drugs every day. Now I only take two. 

May I, as well as many others, find solutions for their health with clean eating… and Certified Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils, like doTERRA. (The ones sold in Walmart say they are not safe to ingest and likely diluted with additives.) Indeed, it surely is nice to crave Peppermint oil instead of sweets and junk food!

Monday, May 15, 2017


We all have our stories. Since the beginning of time, there have been story-tellers. The bible is filled with them. The first one that pops into my mind is the story of Job. I relate to this one because my life felt like his... only he stood his ground in his faith, while I wavered in a state of confusion.

When you were a child, hopefully someone read stories to you. Then hopefully, you learned to read and you read lots of books. Perhaps they were fantasy, perhaps they were mysteries, perhaps they were adventure, perhaps they were romance. Or politics, war, history, and religion. His-story. What about Her-story?

What are your stories? Do you have the courage to tell them?

This past week, I was invited to tell my 'story.' Twice. I was thinking about this while I took a shower this morning. What could I conclude by being asked twice in the same week? I tend to be a bit long-winded (self perception) when someone invites me to tell how I was able to walk again after being wheelchair dependent for about five years. How does one explain in just a few minutes the complex process of what I went through to get back on my feet? Or how the stress of life circumstances kept me incapacitated? After all, it wasn't something simple like having non-invasive back surgery.

Because I couldn't get the help I needed and didn't know what type of help would benefit me the most, the journey was a complex one. I decided to read, study, and research for myself how to get myself better. Now that I reflect back on these years, I realize I must have somehow known I COULD get better.

I had to come to terms with the Law of Attraction... how I was inviting most of the disastrous scenarios into my life because it was all I was focused on.

I found out about the 10 forms of twisted thinking (cognitive distortions) which led to my being able to finally climb out of the black hole I fell into. I'm sure it helped that I acknowledged I had every single one of them. When I discovered my thoughts were all twisted and my conclusions mostly false, I got excited because this meant I could find the ones that were true!

I learned that stress, my perception of life events, and lack of knowledge of stress-reduction techniques kept me incapacitated. Stress is a complex mix ranging from negative thoughts, a sedentary life, poor nutrition, side effects to medications, grief, and more. When the stress subsided, the sun in my world came out. Literally. Imagine waking up one day and actually noticing the sun was shining and the sky was blue.

Yes, I had lots of stories. However, the people I told my stories to didn't want to hear them so their responses affected my self-esteem.

I used to tell lots of stories about how bad everything was in my life. There weren't any happy endings... and there's nothing like hearing from others that one of my stories was about their life, too... only they didn't know how to tell their own story... or like I used to feel, that no one cared or would listen.

Google search or type in the YouTube search box 'TED Talks' and you will find many stories. The rage now is to incorporate story-telling to create connections with other people... in politics, religion... even in sales and marketing. The catch is, you must find the right audience to listen to them. Family may not be this audience, especially when they are caught up in their own toxic life, yet refuse to tell anyone what's going on inside their head.

I Googled the Psychology of Storytelling and found an article in Psychology Today.

"Stories are authentic human experiences. Stories leapfrog the technology and bring us to the core of experience, as any good storyteller (transmedia or otherwise) knows. There are several psychological reasons why stories are so powerful."

Here's the link so you can read the rest of the article:

The Psychological Power of Story-Telling

I really like this part:

"Stories are about collaboration and connection. They transcend generations, they engage us through emotions, and they connect us to others. Through stories we share passions, sadness, hardships and joys. We share meaning and purpose. Stories are the common ground that allows people to communicate, overcoming our defenses and our differences. Stories allow us to understand ourselves better and to find our commonality with others."

I wish I knew back then what I know now, how important my stories were and still are. Now that I am in Toastmasters, I am learning how to tweak them to become specific speeches. My challenge is figuring out how to condense my really long stories down to five minutes and choosing which parts of the stories would have the most impact.
I also can't help but wonder if our core desire to have good stories to tell resulted in the life we experience. Which came first? The chicken or the egg? Do we decide what our stories will be before we are born? Was the life we lived created by these stories? When we figure out we are powerful creators - creating our own lives, can we completely change gears and create a new one? So far, I am finding the answer to this last question to be yes.

My deepest desire is to feel connection. Now that I feel safe sharing my stories and I'm receiving validation for having the courage to share them, I confidently move forward! I am told my newfound joy is infectious and somehow, someway, I will figure out how to effectively inspire transformation in others.

What's more, I recently published two new books. The first, Alternate Realities: Daydreams of Conversations is a collection of short stories based on my life experiences only with imaginary happy endings. 

"Once upon a time... as all fairy tales begin... sparks the imagination. I recently began writing them after I came across the concept that regardless of how difficult your life has been, you can recreate your life by imagining and writing a different story. For those who like to immerse themselves in all kinds of possibilities, I recommend that you write some of your own. Who knows? One of them might come true! The following short stories are in this book: The Psychologist, The Barista Restaurant, Twin Flame, Wish Maker, The Blue Stone, Kindred Spirits, Fairy God Father."

Buy on Amazon
I also updated and republished Personal Journal & Recipes for Healthy Living. (7/29/19 Update: I discontinued this book as it wasn't selling and became outdated.)

Thank you for stopping by and reading my post. Please share... how have your stories affected your life and what have you done to create new ones?

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Autoimmune, Calcium, Sleep Apnea, Pain, & Vaccines

I finished reading The Autoimmune Fix — and learned more about what Dr. Mark Wiley wrote in Arthritis Reversed. Then I read The Calcium Lie II — and learned about all the physical, emotional, and mental consequences of drinking milk and taking Calcium supplements.

The Calcium Lie II has answered many questions and solved many mysteries. I had forgotten about meeting the mysterious Dr. Stephen King in the P.O. parking lot back in 2011 who had told me to STOP taking calcium supplements. It was accumulating in my joints, muscles, and even my brain (depression). I did for a while but bent to the pressures of my past M.D. to take them again.

Highlights from The Calcium Lie II:

Before refrigeration, food (meat) was preserved in Rock Salt/Sea Salt which had ALL the minerals in it. Even cattle are given rock salt so they get their minerals. Post refrigeration, because the salt clumped together, all the minerals were processed out. When people were getting goiters, iodine was added back, but without all the other minerals our mineral balance is thrown off. As a result, the general population became mineral deficient and it all went downhill from there.

They say our soil is depleted so we don’t get enough nutrients. They add Ascorbic Acid to food and call it Vitamin C, which it isn’t so we are C deficient.... and it goes on...

The bakers didn’t like that flour clumped together either, so they processed the health benefits out, added bromine to keep it from clumping, and a few isolated vitamins. This flour went into all the baked goods along with iodized salt.

What are the health benefits of bromine? Have you ever asked? I certainly didn’t…

“Bromine is corrosive to human tissue in a liquid state and its vapors irritate eyes and throat. Bromine vapors are very toxic with inhalation. Humans can absorb organic bromines through the skin, with food and during breathing.”
And just like there doesn’t seem to be an escape from Roundup (glyphosate), avoiding grains won’t keep you safe from Bromine. They spray it on berries to keep them from getting moldy from the time they are picked to the time they get to market.

I watched the movie Food, Inc. on Netflix and learned even more about what is in most of the food we eat. Scary stuff!

I’ve been wishing for a solution to my sore, achy knees and legs. Still studying, researching, and hopeful. There’s so much I want to do and sometimes I feel ???? because my legs hurt too much to walk around anywhere. I haven’t even been able to go walking around my beautiful creek.

Along came The 2017 Tapping World Summit. I had already purchased The Tapping Solution for Pain Relief, but haven’t read it yet. While listening to various podcasts from this summit, I used my phone to record some of the tapping sequences — tools for purging stress and emotional components of pain and illness. Muscle spasm? Think aggravated, frustrated, angry, about things like:

“Why is this still happening? I’m eating right, taking the right supplements, drinking enough water, etc. I’m so frustrated! I’m doing everything I’m supposed to and the pain is still there!”

Mmmm. If all these other practitioners are using it, I can work on this, too. Instead of tapping on pain, you tap on the emotions, which include rejection, disappointment, anger, frustration, and resentment associated with the pain.

While The Tapping World Summit was going on, The Thyroid Secret began. More information about how stress-filled life throws everything out of balance and how the ‘Allopathic’ docs prescribe drugs for the symptoms vs. getting to the root cause… which includes toxins, SAD (Standard American Diet), and clearing the stories you’ve been telling yourself about all the life situations that resulted in stress-induced imbalances.

On the lineup to read is Heal Your Pain Now by Dr. Joe Tatta. Debora Wayne has an interesting program, too, and I subscribed to her emails. She says pain is solid and we can change it to fluid and then vapor. Your pain is REAL, but you can locate the source of the pain (emotions and/or memories) and release all the STUCK energy.

Within the same week, Kristin’s Essential Oil class was on PTSD. There is actually a trigger cycle. 3% of our brain is conscious. 97% is subconscious. We are ruled by the subconscious memories and conclusions (blueprint) which can easily be ‘triggered’ by things as tiny as someone looking at you wrong or saying the wrong word or when you hear certain sounds.

Within this same week, I decided to get Ambika’s BioTerrain testing done (urine analysis). The physical aspects of the pain can be attributed to an acidic body. When the body is overly acidic, the body takes minerals from vital organs and bones to neutralize the acid and remove it from the body.

I am not only acidic, I have high levels of Ammonia, Nitrates, and Oxidation. My body is trying to alkalize itself by pulling minerals from my bones. Very enlightening!

I asked if Sleep Apnea can contribute to this. She said yes. Not enough oxygen.

And the intuitive healer I saw at the Metaphysical Fair when I went to visit with Ambika told me I wasn’t breathing enough through my diaphragm. I love how everything comes together like a Master Mind team to come up with actual solutions.

In my opinion, medicine is like religion and politics. People go to med school to become doctors, and most believe what they are taught, just like most students believe the history they are taught in school is correct when it’s not. Now that I’ve had the opportunity to listen to hundreds of docs from all over the world who have changed their religion or political affiliation to alternative/functional medicine, more people are becoming aware that the pharmaceutical/ medical industry is a money-making greedy business designed to keep us sick so they can make money off of treatments and drugs.


There are other tests I am considering, but perhaps won’t be needed in addition to the BioTerrain. Dr. Thompson (The Calcium Lie II) recommends a hair mineral analysis test so you can see a blueprint of which minerals you need (in addition to eating sea salt and taking organic ionic minerals).

There is the full spectrum thyroid testing (which my MD won’t do even though my TSH was too high) but Ambika, who has had thyroid issues since she was a young teen, gave me the book, Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms? to read. Thyroid levels change on a daily basis and testing would have to be done frequently.

I am also interested in the antibody panel, which will show specifically what your immune system is attacking. But why look for more trouble? If I can get my pH levels up and more oxygen while I sleep, since I don’t get colds or flu, I’ll walk this path for now… while dreaming of walking physically on paths in nature that I yearn for.

If only I could go back in time to when I was 38 years old and my body couldn’t handle any more of the stressful life I was living. It complained by spreading the sensation of pain to every part of my ‘physical’ body, while my ‘emotional’ body clung to the pain for its perceived protection. I was on fight or flight survival mode, running from unhappiness vs. a tiger.

According to everything I’ve been listening to about EFT (and treatments for pain) the pain was keeping me SAFE. The trouble is, it was keeping me SAFE inside the tiger’s mouth, and I felt the tiger’s sharp teeth all over my body.

The diagnosis was Fibromyalgia, and the pain management doc I went to (thank you for taking care of me) began to prescribe heavy-duty drugs to dull the pain. I had been stuffing/packing tight the emotions of trauma deep in the crevices of my body and it cooperated by holding on to everything I took in. Thank you, body, for keeping me SAFE.

In between all the research, reading, and studying in the areas of Mind-Body-Spirit medicine, I came across information on Obstructive Sleep Apnea. I wondered… could I have this?

I read somewhere that when you don’t get enough oxygen while you sleep, you can wake up tired and ache all over. Sounds like Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, doesn’t it? I thought so.

“Sleep Apnea in Patients With Fibromyalgia: A Growing Concern. Patients with fibromyalgia have a tenfold increase in sleep-disordered breathing, including obstructive sleep apnea.”

Besides CBT, I wonder what would have happened if I had been given a CPAP instead of drugs. I have early memories of waking up in the middle of the night gasping for air… before I began to take all the sedating medications.

I also have memories of being unable to move my body while thinking I was awake. It was terrifying. My crazy, immature imagination thought I was being held down by some evil force. Have you ever experienced this really scary scenario? Scary because you had no clue what was happening? Add this to the other PTSD experiences you cope with. The light in the scary closet came on when I discovered something called sleep paralysis. However, my subconscious was still storing the fear.

“Sleep paralysis is a phenomenon in which a person either during falling asleep (Hypnagogia) or awakening (Hypnopompia), temporarily experiences an inability to move, speak, or react. It is a transitional state between wakefulness and sleep, characterized by muscle atonia (muscle weakness).”

So, was it sleep apnea this whole time? In addition to a fight or flight switch that never turned off? Your body can’t heal while in this fight or flight state.

I really had to do a LOT of work on myself and track all the positive things which came my way before realizing I was no longer in danger — that I was safe. That I have guardian angels and a God who watches over me. It took writing “Miracles Sandwiched Between the Challenges,” before I began to allow fear of life to subside, in addition to experiencing Theta Healing.

On Mar 29, I got a CPAP. I feel like an astronaut — or maybe a scuba diver. The original mask I got wasn’t right for me and I had to wait a week and a half for some new ones to come in. Even with this new one, I am not liking how tight the straps have to be to keep the mask snug against my face when the pressure of air goes up. I hope there is a solution. My machine includes a humidifier which eases my chronically blocked sinuses.

This past week, along came Pain Treatments That Work and The Truth About Vaccines. Awesome information about the Mind-Body connection to halting the pain cycle. Shocking information about what is in vaccines – as well as the fact they are not tested in clinical trials the way the drugs are. They have higher than the safe amounts of aluminum to trigger inflammation, thimerosal (mercury), foreign DNA from other species, and glyphosate (Roundup). In present time, the CDC mandates children receive 46 vaccines by the time they are six years old, 26 by the time they are two. They are poisoning our children! At this rate, we won’t need an atom bomb to wipe out most of the population. They are using VACCINES!

Sweet dreams!

Sunday, March 26, 2017

My Views on Childhood Education

While I continue to learn more about the Mind-Body-Spirit connection to illness and chronic pain, while processing the controversy around public education vs. vouchers for charter schools, I wonder how my life could have been different if the subjects I was taught in grade school through middle school included psychology, sociology, communication, relationships, finance, and self-defense.

I wonder if instead of biology, social studies, and political science -- and all the FACTS I had to know (which I didn't) in order to get good grades on tests, I had the opportunity to learn all the aforementioned topics instead. As for sex education, this wasn't offered back when I was in school and I'm not sure it would have been beneficial to me if it had.

Learning about psychology, sociology, communication, and relationships (all topics I didn't get until I got to college) sure would have been an extremely interesting way for me and my classmates to learn about each other. Instead of feeling isolated, I could have felt connected.

I was one of the quiet bashful bullied children and I wonder -- if I had a voice -- and heard the other children's voices -- if the issues I faced would have existed. If my classrooms had a Toastmasters format, I would have heard my other classmates tell their stories and developed compassion early on instead of the effects of isolation and depression.

Children who are listened to and understood are less likely to become bullies and the number of people who develop substance abuse issues would be minimized. Children who are listened to and understood are less likely to develop chronic illness, disease, and pain - including mental illness.

We get hearing tests, vision tests, and all kinds of other tests. Why aren't children getting psychological testing? Why is it that only the children who are diagnosed by their pediatricians as needing said testing are being tested and getting help? (I have a friend who works for a psychologist who does this type of testing.)

What if the children who were classified early on as high-risk were put in separate rooms just like special ed rooms are for the developmentally disadvantaged? There are actually children who experience depression from a very young age which isn't caught by parents or pediatricians -- and I was one of them.
It would have been nice if I could have learned about basic psychological problems, including how we decide who we are by the time we are about six years old and whether this identity is true or not. Unfortunately, not every child has a safe start with mentally fit, healthy parents or they only have one parent who has no choice but to work, leaving their child(ren) to fend for themselves. Not every child has a 'church family' to provide structure nor do they have an extended family to be there when their parents work.

It would have been nice if my fellow classmates could have explored cultural and religious differences (sociology) early on instead of historical textbook facts we can't relate to as well as how wealth or lack of affects the livelihood of families. Not everyone goes to college where sociology is a basic subject requirement. This one class made a huge difference in my view of the world.
It would have been nice if I could have learned about stress, how we react to stress, and how to manage stress. Many children DON'T handle stress which results in numerous problems they take with them into their adult life like I did. Because I didn't have a voice, I internalized everything. I'm still in the process of working it all out as each new day leads to a new discovery and a new light bulb of awareness comes on.

It would have been nice if I had more than just crossing guards to protect me on my journey to and from school so I wouldn't have been subject to bullying (by both boys & girls). When I took the bus from first through third grade, I was bullied by nearby students. When we moved to a new town, I had to walk because my mother didn't drive and we didn't have neighbors who could drive us. We lived in New England so regardless of weather conditions, we had to walk. I was in pain as far back as I could remember and pain is stressful by itself. Perhaps children in need of protection (who are free to have a voice) could be assigned older 'qualified' mentors to look after them and protect them from bullies. The older neighbor girl who walked with us was one of many bullies I had to deal with. I wonder how things could have been different if I had learned it was O.K. to speak up and defend myself.

Perhaps had my education in psychology, relationships, & communication had begun much earlier, I wouldn't have fallen so heavily infatuated multiple times (like so many females do) with all the wrong boys and later men. I was only 12 when I became infatuated for the first time. In a class on relationships, I could have learned the difference between infatuation and love as well as what a healthy relationship looked like -- and would have learned that my parents had serious problems. Perhaps I wouldn't have believed I was a bad person - never good enough - when they yelled at each other or me because I would have known it wasn't about me.

Perhaps if instead of studying Shakespeare, we could have been analyzing Disney movies and fairy tales. Right? Like what happens after infatuation? It would have been nice if we had REAL stories to read instead of romance fantasies which always had happy endings.

I can just imagine if instead of blindly falling in love, I was classifying the boys/men I met according to what type of psychological problems they had and how their lives would turn out as a result of those problems. And perhaps I would have developed the insight to know (ahead of time) who would be abusive, alcoholics, drug addicts, criminals, liars, cheaters, and worse yet -- sex offenders. (I've known all of the above).

I certainly wish someone had educated me about how much trouble I could get into if I 'date' someone unsupervised until I got to know them, no matter how old I was.

Oh, yes, I'd make self-defense as one of the mandatory classes taught in P.E. Boys weren't the only people I needed to learn to defend myself from. There were bully girls, too. I so wish I had learned how to defend myself verbally and physically before my body 'froze up' with Fibromyalgia. Mmmm.

I wish, even more, I was taught that you don't try to love boys/men who are messed up by being in a relationship with them.

The more people I've talked to over the years, the more I have found out that no one is really immune to the kinds of emotional issues that I personally experienced in my own life and within my own family. Men, women, and children in our country are getting away with the murder of fragile hearts and souls. Sometimes, the murder includes the entire human being which includes school massacres. NO ONE is safe from predators unless they are specifically trained to protect themselves. So why aren't we learning how to do this from the very beginning instead of developing overwhelming helplessness - feeling powerless - which is the root of all illness, disease, alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness, and more?

I think I've experienced quite a variety of infatuations which in every case left me heartbroken, losing a job, or suddenly moving (which I've done 43 times). In spite of the fact that I kept telling myself 'never again,' there was another 'again.' I never understood what was happening until I read "Count Your Blessings" when I was 57 years old. In Chapter 16, Dr. John F. Demartini begins with:

"Are you busy building pedestals? Generally, the people who build the tallest pedestals experience the deepest resentments down the road, and the bigger the infatuation, the harder it falls. When you see a person, a situation, an object, or a possession, as all good, you're in a temporary state of infatuation and illusion."
I refer to this illusion as 'rose colored glasses'. This leads me to the next subject: finance.

We don't just become infatuated with people. We become infatuated with THINGS. And we want the things NOW whether we have the money saved up for them or not. And we've been taught from early on, that we can have just about anything we want... when we buy it on credit. And this is why our entire country is in such deep debt. We try to fill emptiness with things and wonder why after we have them, we still feel empty.

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to take one of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University classes. Imagine if we began learning how to balance a checkbook in grade school as soon as we learned to add and subtract. If parents couldn't afford to give their children allowances, the school could give them monopoly money to pretend with.

Next, we'd go on field trips to the grocery stores (with calculators) and calculate costs per ounce and which products are the better buy. Instead of history and social studies, learn about nutrition, what GMO's are, the toxic affects of sugar and food coloring, and where the meat we eat and the milk we drink come from. In biology lab, we'd experiment on how roundup as well as other chemicals affects our food and our bodies.

Children need to learn how to calculate how much things will end up costing us if we take out loans for them (yes, credit cards are extremely high interest loans).

I was one of the few people who learned about money while I was still in high school because I took business courses which included bookkeeping. By the time I graduated high school, I knew a lot about income and expenses ... with the exception of the credit card thing. My father liked buying things with credit cards and taught me that it was the thing to do. He never figured out that buying things on sale on credit resulted in paying more than the item would be at full price. He even taught me that I had to buy cars brand new when I could have bought a perfectly good used car for a lot less.

In conclusion, I believe childhood education should include psychology, sociology, communication, relationships, and finance from the very beginning... with self-defense in P.E. And if they were, don't you think our world be a better place?

Then again, if our government is such a mess, and religious organizations are all clashing with each other, who do we trust to decide which psychology and finance specialists get to write our textbooks?

What do you think? If you could return to grade school, which classes do you think would have been more beneficial than the ones you had to take?

Monday, February 20, 2017

Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Once upon a time, I felt unloved. Because I felt unloved, I tried to find people to love me. All I got, were friends & partners who reflected back to me how I felt about myself and what I thought I deserved to have. Back then, I didn't even know how to feel loved by God / The Creator of everything that exists. As I grow into my 6th decade, I reflect back on some of the most important things I've learned so far.

Practice loving your 5-year-old self. If necessary, also practice loving younger versions as well. Find one or more photos of yourself when you were about 5 years old. Isn't he/she adorable? Cute? Lovable? Sweet? Precious? Huggable? When did you stop believing this about yourself? This child still lives inside of you. You are the age you are and every age you ever were. If you concluded by the time you were 5 years old that you were NOT worthy of love based on your parenting or traumatic experiences, you grew into an adult who has no idea the conclusions you made were false.

Become aware. Watch your thoughts. Write them down. If they are negative or degrading thoughts, what proof do you have they are true? (Dr. David Burns--Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy). I read a great book by Stephen Shaw "I AM." I was challenged by racing negative thoughts and Stephen was, too... until he met a wise man who instructed him to see them as flocks of birds and just watch them. Don't let them take over your mind. Ever since then, every time I see a flock of birds, (especially crows & blackbirds), I remember this book.

Do you find yourself judging others? Thinking negative about others? Their actions? This will give you a clue that you are also judging yourself. You will also keep attracting people and situations into your life to reflect what you are focusing on. Once you realize this is what is happening, you can catch yourself in the 'act.'

Use tools such as EFT / Tapping to interrupt self-sabotaging thoughts. There are books and many YouTube videos on the topic. The 2017 Tapping World Summit is about to begin so if you're interested, look it up online.

Find a Theta Healer or take a Theta Healing class. What I love about Theta is the belief work. After old thought patterns and beliefs are 'pulled,' you must have new beliefs to replace them. Otherwise, you can feel disconnected and lost. Your identity was just pulled and you are left with Who Am I? The Theta Practitioner 'downloads' you with new ones... including what it FEELS like to be loved, trusted, respected, have abundance, and more... I felt amazing after I received my new 'downloads,' and my life seemed to take off! Vianna Stibel wrote two books on Theta Healing which include just about every negative thought pattern/belief known to mankind. She explains how these can manifest as health problems. As you flip through the pages, you can find which beliefs you want to work on. It's especially nice to see there are common beliefs among all of us, and we are not alone. I also learned that all the positive affirmations in the world can't override what is in your subconscious belief system. It helps to find a qualified Theta Healer. Hint: When you take a class (3 days) you get a ton of downloads -- a more economical way to get multiple sessions in a single weekend.

Treat your body like it is a beloved garden. I wrote "Growing An Internal Garden" on ways to do this. Your body will appreciate the steps you take to become a healthier person through food, exercise, water, and self-love. The flowers of your body (your cells) will appreciate you. There is always a new online webinar/podcast series to teach you what you can do to become your own health advocate. My previous post is on Winter of Wellness 2017. By the time symptoms begin showing up, your poor body has already been overloaded and needs your help. Learn to be a detective and don't rely on medical doctors to figure out what you need. Blood tests only show current conditions. Doctors can only do what they were trained to do, which is to order tests and prescribe medication for the symptoms that show up.

Never stop learning new things. I love my Toastmasters group where there is always something new to learn pertaining to self-confidence, communicating, and leadership. I've said it before, but every week I hear inspirational speeches which keep me motivated. Many of these speeches are about over-coming life's adversities. The evaluations are made with the sandwich method to ensure you walk away with something to grow on. Many introverts come out of their shells and begin to shine (like me).

Last, but not least, fill your senses with Essential Oils. doTERRA has a set of Emotional Aromatherapy Blends that comes with a chart. What do you want to feel less of? Find this on the chart. The chart will direct you to which blend would help you feel what you want to feel more of. My personal favorite at this time is Motivate. Buying the whole kit is much less expensive than buying them separately. 

Remember: You as a human are a work in progress. As long as you are alive, you have growth potential. Life is a journey, not a destination. I look forward to the next 30 years!

What is your takeaway from this post? Where are you at this time in your life? Have you explored any of the things I've listed here? Do you have any questions? Please leave your comments below.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The Calcium Lie II & Glare

First, I wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day. Today, make a commitment to love the most important person in your life. YOU! I introduced the concept of treating your body like it is a garden in my book: Growing An Internal Garden. If your body is a garden, you will take care to provide it with the correct balance of MINERALS.

When I went to see my optometrist to have my eyes examined (I assumed the chronic headaches were due to my glasses being too strong for me again), I mentioned to him about the Winter of Wellness series and the book I read by Dr. Tom O'Bryan titled: The Autoimmune Fix. Dr. Berg told me he read it, has felt much better since following a Gluten Free diet, and asked me if I had read The Calcium Lie. This book was on my reading list, but I hadn't gotten to it yet. However, I figured Dr. Berg's comment was heaven's message that this should be the book I read next. 

The result of my exam? My eyes hadn't changed since last July. (Progressive Myopia has been reversing.) I went next door to Walmart Vision Center, saw a familiar face, and sat down to talk to her. We figured out the headaches were most likely caused by GLARE and the difference between plastic and high-index lenses. Back in July, I decided to buy two pair of inexpensive plastic single-vision glasses vs. expensive bifocals with high-index, anti-reflective lenses. I'll be searching for night driver's to wear over my glasses to reduce daytime glare and hopefully find a anti-glare screen for the laptop I use a lot.

Now for the book. In just the Introduction and first Chapter of this book, I learned how taking calcium supplements for most of my adult life has most likely been the root of just about all my health issues. Wow! Yes, there were emotional/psychological 'programming' components as well, but as for the physical, everything I read in this first chapter clarified many of the unsolved 'mysteries'.

"If you take calcium to strengthen your bones and you already have an excess of calcium in your body, you are signing your own death warrant. Think of it like this: Calcium hardens concrete. Imagine what it can harden in your body! Excess calcium can cause: 

  • Kidney and gallstones
  • Arterial plaque
  • Bone spurs
  • Calcium deposits in tissues other than bones
  • Brain cell dysfunction, brain shrinkage, and dementia"

Years back, when I met the mysterious Stephen King in the post office parking lot (MD, NASA, Chemist), he told me the same thing. He advised me to stop taking calcium supplements... it was depositing calcium in my arteries, joints, and brain. But then I gave in to my doctor's orders to take them again. (I've since changed doctors.)

Our bodies are so incredibly miraculously designed, you see--approximately 72% water & 27% minerals. We are not solid, we are energy--and our cells are electrically charged. This means, unless you have the correct balance of minerals, your cells get confused. No wonder I ended up such a mess! 

By the time symptoms show up, whatever organs are affected are already damaged. Even adrenals and thyroid.

As for minerals, we need complete ionized minerals as well as Sea Salt. Processed iodized salt, which is also added to most packaged/canned food, throws our balance off.

My nutritionist, Ambika, started me off on the right track by 'prescribing' Organa Liquid Minerals ( I also bought Himalayan Sea Salt. I still needed to understand why drinking milk alternatives (fortified with Calcium) and Calcium supplements were causing a problem. Many, in fact.

The Lie is that we need calcium to strengthen our bones. We were brainwashed by the commercials "Milk Does The Body Good." Many foods were fortified with calcium, like cereal and orange juice. While all this calcium is going to all the wrong places, our bones are being leached of the minerals it needs. When you get a DexaScan, you are 'diagnosed' with osteoporosis. Then you are prescribed a drug which throws your balance off even more. Two different dentists confirmed the jaw disintegration they've seen.

In the meantime, all the over-the-counter remedies for aches, pains, colds, flu, plus antibiotics disrupt your digestion so you take drugs for acid reflux and GERD--which also leaches minerals from your bones.

Enough of my rant. Buy this book and read it yourself!

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Winter of Wellness

In the last year, I've listened to The Truth About Cancer, The Truth About Autoimmune Disease, and now I am finishing up 30 days of podcasts with alternative health practitioners from all over the world in Winter of Wellness 2017. Educating and inspiring! Wouldn't it be nice if all I had to do is take a test on all this and be a doctor? Without paying for college?

Food plan: It's been two months since I've completely stopped eating grains and legumes. It can take up to six months for the effects of these to clear out of my body, but I remain hopeful. After all, I had no idea that just avoiding wheat wouldn't do it for gluten sensitivity, a result of gut permeability. I also had no idea that the lectins in legumes couldn't be digested if you don't sprout them first. Here I was, thinking my mostly vegetarian diet was doing me good, when it turns out it wasn't.

I learned to make a pancake type bread snack with Almond Flour, Tapioca Flour, eggs, olive oil, coconut milk powder/water, and favorite spices. These are so delicious! I usually don't cook... but the desire to eat these has over-ridden my aversion to cooking.

My Triglycerides are still too high, and hopefully eliminating grains and legumes will help bring it down. My nutritionist, Ambika, pointed out to me that other blood results such as just a bit high on protein indicates I am not processing sugars (the healthy ones) which indicates my thyroid is not producing enough of whatever it is and neither is my gut. She added two new supplements to my regime. Yes, I'd been taking a number of supplements including Organa Liquid Minerals--and my hair is growing in BROWN. Places that were thinning out are filling in! Hoping my muscles will begin feeling better soon, too! Despite autoimmune responses in my body, I have succeeded in not coming down with a cold or the flu--not since my trip to Washington when I got sick from being exposed to Mold.

We had our Annual Local Author Fest on the 28th of January. I had the utmost pleasure of meeting Michael Lanning, a new author who moved to Lampasas about two years ago. We were seated in the same little group so we got to chat. I also listened to his 10-minute talk. He said they moved to Lampasas because as a result of his research, it is supposedly the fastest growing city in the state of Texas. Four different highways merge into our main drag (Key Avenue) before picking up on the other end again. This is good news but also bad. Our main drag is only two lanes each side and has lots of lights as it runs through the center of town. I am glad there are plenty of side streets to get me to where I need to go.

Mrs. Lanning: I found out Michael's wife is the one who opened "Wildflowers on the Wall" downtown on our square. There had already been wildflower murals on the side of the building which is why she named the business this. It has antiques and an old fashioned soda fountain. She also opened a little book store called "Cork and Press"--wine tasting, olives, and books. AND she is also the one who bought and had moved a two-story large house I had discovered while going for a bike ride last summer. She is going to refurbish it. I had taken photos of this house months before she bought it and drafted ideas of a book I planned to write about it (fiction). Then I saw the article in the paper about it being moved and the plans for it. Mrs. Lanning has a background in business development and plans to ignite the growth of business in our downtown area.

Other authors: there were some other well-known successful authors at our fest this time, too. Hardly any customers, which was disappointing, but us authors had more time to visit with each other! I took away a list of their books I wanted to read to add to my extremely long list I already have. I've got bookshelves with books, over 140 Kindle books on my tablet, a folder of info on books I want to read, and now these. When will someone invent a head-phone type device we can put on and just download the books into our data-base brain? I know, then what would the purpose be of learning to read?

The Chadwicks: I also know Kelly & Johnny Chadwick. They bought a little land a few miles away. Kelly is a wedding planner and loves to grow things... like olives. Johnny is a nurse at our hospital and loves music. He built a huge stage out there and has huge concerts with well-known bands. I went to two concerts for free after offering to do the PR for them with local papers. Kelly also loves all things natural, so I invited her to attend Essential Oil classes my Acupunturist/Chinese Medicine lady, Kristin, started teaching. Tuesday night, I told Kelly about Cork and Press and she said she already knew about it and had been there. Great connections! I also experienced an Acupuncture session this last week.

Writing: inch by inch, I am progressing on a book about the above mentioned house AND another one (secret for now). To add to my above wish of being able to download books, I wish I could attach a brain scan to my brain and just download all my ideas (and have them transcribed)! I have a number of stories in the works...

Reading: The Autoimmune Fix by Dr. Tom O'Brian. NOBODY SHOULD EAT ANY WHEAT, DAIRY, OR SUGAR! IKES! I'm good (at least now), but I worry so much about all the people I care about who still do. For instance, I am surrounded by people who have rotten teeth, not realizing the bacteria is affecting their health, which includes heart disease, and many other problems.

Nowadays, we are told not to give our babies dairy products until they are at least a year old. I know my mother had to quit nursing me when I was only three months old and put me on cow's milk. No formula, no vitamins. I didn't get much of a kick start in life and ended up with severe gas pains as a result of an inability to digest dairy products. Our doc said I had a case of nerves and I was given Bella Donna. Can you imagine?

Happy February! As someone posted on Facebook, January was just the 30-day trial for the new year so February is the official start date.

Join me in striving to become healthier this year!