Monday, February 20, 2017

Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Once upon a time, I felt unloved. Because I felt unloved, I tried to find people to love me. All I got, were friends & partners who reflected back to me how I felt about myself and what I thought I deserved to have. Back then, I didn't even know how to feel loved by God / The Creator of everything that exists. As I grow into my 6th decade, I reflect back on some of the most important things I've learned so far.
  • Practice loving your 5-year-old self. If necessary, also practice loving younger versions as well. Find one or more photos of yourself when you were about 5 years old. Isn't he/she adorable? Cute? Lovable? Sweet? Precious? Huggable? When did you stop believing this about yourself? This child still lives inside of you. You are the age you are and every age you ever were. If you concluded by the time you were 5 years old that you were NOT worthy of love based on your parenting or traumatic experiences, you grew into an adult who has no idea the conclusions you made were false. 

  • Become aware. Watch your thoughts. Write them down. If they are negative or degrading thoughts, what proof do you have they are true? (Dr. David Burns--Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy). I read a great book by Stephen Shaw "I AM". I was challenged by racing negative thoughts and Stephen was, too... until he met a wise man who instructed him to see them as flocks of birds and just watch them. Don't let them take over your mind. Ever since then, every time I see a flock of birds,(especially crows & blackbirds) I remember this book.

  • Do you find yourself judging others? Thinking negative about others? Their actions? This will give you a clue that you are also judging yourself. You will also keep attracting people & situations into your life to reflect what you are focusing on. Once you realize this is what is happening, you can catch yourself in the 'act'.

  • Use tools such as EFT / Tapping to interrupt self-sabotaging thoughts. There are books and many YouTube videos on the topic. The 2017 Tapping World Summit is about to begin so if you're interested, look it up online.
  • Find a Theta Healer or take a Theta Healing class. What I love about Theta is the belief work. After old thought patterns and beliefs are 'pulled', you must have new beliefs to replace them. Otherwise, you can feel disconnected and lost. Your identity was just pulled and you are left with Who Am I? The Theta Practitioner 'downloads' you with new ones... including what it FEELS like to be loved, trusted, respected, have abundance, and more... I felt amazing after I received my new 'downloads' and my life seemed to take off! Vianna Stibel wrote two books on Theta Healing which include just about every negative thought pattern / belief known to mankind. She explains how these can manifest as health problems. As you flip through the pages, you can find which beliefs you want to work on. It's especially nice to see there are common beliefs among all of us and we are not alone. I also learned that all the positive affirmations in the world can't over-ride what is in your sub-conscious belief system. It helps to find a qualified Theta Healer. Hint: When you take a class (3 days) you get a ton of downloads -- a more economical way to get multiple sessions in a single weekend.
  • Treat your body like it is a beloved garden. I wrote "Growing An Internal Garden" on ways to do this. Your body will appreciate the steps you take to become a healthier person through food, exercise, water, and self-love. The flowers of your body (your cells) will appreciate you. There is always a new online webinar/podcast series to teach you what you can do to become your own health advocate. My previous post is on Winter of Wellness 2017. By the time symptoms begin showing up, your poor body has already been overloaded and needs your help. Learn to be a detective and don't rely on medical doctors to figure out what you need. Blood tests only show current conditions. Doctors can only do what they were trained to do, which is to order tests and prescribe medication for the symptoms that show up.
  • Never stop learning new things. I love my Toastmasters group where there is always something new to learn pertaining to self-confidence, communicating, and leadership. I've said it before, but every week I hear inspirational speeches which keep me motivated. Many of these speeches are about over-coming life's adversities. The evaluations are made with the sandwich method to ensure you walk away with something to grow on. Many introverts come out of their shells and begin to shine (like me).
  • Last, but not least, fill your senses with Essential Oils. doTerra has a set of Emotional Aromatherapy Blends that comes with a chart. What do you want to feel less of? Find this on the chart. The chart will direct you to which blend would help you feel what you want to feel more of. My personal favorite at this time is Motivate. Buying the whole kit is much less expensive than buying them separately. Find a Wellness Advocate near you to sign up as a customer or become a Wellness Advocate yourself. 
Remember: 
  • You as a human are a work in progress. As long as you are alive, you have growth potential. Life is a journey, not a destination. I look forward to the next 30 years!
What is your takeaway from this post? Where are you at this time in your life? Have you explored any of the things I've listed here? Do you have any questions? Please leave your comments below.

3 comments:

  1. Love this !!! You inspired me. I have come a long way.

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad I have inspired you! It's really nice to know our life experiences can have positive outcomes when we share with others.

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